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满庭芳;蝶恋花;琐寒窗;金盏子令;七绝;荷叶铺水面;五律;恨来迟;燕归梁^_^1[2]  Next
征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-29 05:53:08    Post subject: 满庭芳;蝶恋花;琐寒窗;金盏子令;七绝;荷叶铺水面;五律;恨来迟;燕归梁^_^ Reply with quote

满庭芳

西苑传觞,东园劝酒,小丫脚、添菜拎壶。
柳眉桃脸,莲步似柔书。
袅袅依依款款,画月影、凌有凌无。
歌声起,娇莺诧燕,舞袖折双孤。

香风荷处举,开弦引管,收放容舒。
品指尖琴尾,颇乱酸儒。
可许溪流响谷,知几度、竹韵清疏。
常言道,朝云夕雨,相继识仙途。
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征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-29 05:59:32    Post subject: Reply with quote



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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-29 10:31:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

感慨多多!
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
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PostPosted: 2007-10-29 18:06:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

婉转。^_^
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-29 20:59:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

品指尖琴尾,颇乱酸儒。

有趣 Very Happy
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征尘载袖
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-31 06:19:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢冰清老师、莹雪、白水姐姐^_^
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征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-31 06:22:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

蝶恋花

一品玫瑰鲜果冻,腮满香甜,嘴角涎涎涌。
曾把绣兰罗帕共,难防一滴纤纤重。

脸上羞红心隐痛,游眼飘波,说有梧桐凤。
揉指捉襟闲摆弄,期谁度语庄公梦?
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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PostPosted: 2007-10-31 10:48:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

腮满香甜,游眼飘波,

袖袖诗词中不乏娇美的形象,避免了多少空泛之议.
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喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

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PostPosted: 2007-10-31 16:46:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

腮满香甜,嘴角涎涎涌。

揉指捉襟闲摆弄,期谁度语庄公梦

Very Happy
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

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PostPosted: 2007-10-31 18:14:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

载袖MM的词俏皮可爱,挥洒自如。真是长袖善舞啊!
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征尘载袖
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-11-03 03:46:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢
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征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-11-03 03:48:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

琐寒窗

惹恨还添,牵肠即断,怨朝愁暮。
依杨望柳,想去算来何苦。
起余悲、帘开泪花,梦成待得难堪处。
若向心佛祖,香灰檀味,不胜闺诉。

求助,无门路。问瀚海苍天,怎谋仙旅。
浮杯索籁,著意烟霏云渡。
独伤怀、牛角一筋,满襟碎影休说舞。
劝从今、唱首歌儿,别肉声相付。
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-11-03 15:35:46    Post subject: 回 Reply with quote

载袖MM变调也很快啊!建议MM将新词发首贴,不要只发在回贴上。因为不来看回贴的粗心人就读不到MM的新词,埋没了!
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征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
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PostPosted: 2007-11-04 07:13:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首《琐寒窗》是作和一个叫清姿淡影的女孩儿的,体会一下结句“劝从今、唱首歌儿,别肉声相付”,就会明白我是在劝她^_^

事实证明发不发主贴没什么关系,我发现好多人都很细心呀^_^
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征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-04 07:53:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

金盏子令

吹帘入雨,未央明月访潇湘。
含羞不语,索琴筝一曲,惊了池塘。

谁家竹笛,争个迟梦,婉转凄凉。
送一声、心忧玉兔,乱捣秋香。
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征尘载袖
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PostPosted: 2007-11-05 08:13:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

七绝

行者登楼凑梦求,抿杯小酒佐鱼头。
低眉荐影一声叹:不似三更灯下留。
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征尘载袖
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-11-05 08:16:23    Post subject: Reply with quote



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晓松
举人


Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

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PostPosted: 2007-11-05 18:56:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

行者登楼何所求,抿杯小酒佐鱼头。羡慕~
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偶是老道
童生


Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 14

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PostPosted: 2007-11-05 20:10:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

征尘载袖 wrote:
金盏子

吹帘入雨,未央明月访潇湘。
含羞不语,索琴筝一曲,惊了池塘。

谁家竹笛,争个迟梦,婉转凄凉。
送一声、心忧玉兔,乱捣秋香。


袖子MM這只盞子怎么比我的小啊?
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征尘载袖
秀才


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 527
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
征尘载袖Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 02:59:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

偶是老道 wrote:
袖子MM這只盞子怎么比我的小啊?


道理很简单,因为你用的是繁体字,而我用的是简体字^_^

实际上,我写的是《金盏子令》^_^
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