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一抹阳光落在指尖(拜坛请各位老师指导!)
漂之雨
童生


Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 53

漂之雨Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 08:41:22    Post subject: 一抹阳光落在指尖(拜坛请各位老师指导!) Reply with quote

一抹阳光落在指尖

文/漂之雨

秋风缓缓飘落在睡梦中
无言的梦境孤寂中诞生

一抹阳光从都市的窗口走了出来
一阵晚风从岁月的角落爬上了前额

一只鸟飞过繁华的街市
一个人落魄在世俗的包房里

当我接过你递来的阳光
指尖触摸的岁月黯然无语

2006-11-1
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 17:51:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

从秋风中梦境的产生
到一只鸟, 一个人
两个人某种心灵的交换
题目就成了亮点
很有张力

欢迎漂之雨
Very Happy
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写诗是为了写更好的诗
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漂之雨
童生


Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 53

漂之雨Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 22:43:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

和平岛 wrote:
从秋风中梦境的产生
到一只鸟, 一个人
两个人某种心灵的交换
题目就成了亮点
很有张力

欢迎漂之雨
Very Happy


谢品!问好老师!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 23:20:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢读和平老师的解读,对我很有帮助~
问好~

漂兄的诗歌写得很好,是我的老师,远握~
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蓝桥
秀才


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 105

蓝桥Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-03 07:02:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

拜读问好!
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维鹿延
秀才


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 212
Location: 中国广东
维鹿延Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-03 08:51:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

心里有岁月淡淡忧愁。
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散步者身体里面的声音
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维鹿延
秀才


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 212
Location: 中国广东
维鹿延Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-03 08:51:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

心里有岁月淡淡的忧愁。
_________________
散步者身体里面的声音
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-10 16:03:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

当我接过你递来的阳光
指尖触摸的岁月黯然无语
叙述别有一番滋味在心头,题目抓人。
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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亘古清露儿
童生


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 56

亘古清露儿Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-12 19:50:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

晚风从岁月的角落爬上了前额
句子很美的.
问好楼主
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