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◇ 蜡菊
冰夕
童生


Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 92
Location: 台灣北部
冰夕Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-02 08:25:13    Post subject: ◇ 蜡菊 Reply with quote

  蜡菊


  有没有一种鬼魅的未知
  誓死突围
  听与读的声色之外

  尚有一种决心扑向焰烛
  圣殿麾下
  影子军团的爱

  无惧嘘声倒戈城邦
  击掌泥沙为扶手的花嫁
  揭竿奥义宇宙 
  风动
  万籁唇语:

  “坐怀水火的生死之外”


  faninsa.t  Oct29`2007



注:蜡菊,植物学名称为“Helichrysum”意指“金黄般的太阳”因其花朵
状丽呈现大片金黄色且摘下来仍能维持丰艳色泽;所以蜡菊又有“永久花”
虔诚恒美之称。亦可用来处理碰伤、淤青现象,具有激励免疫系统的功能。
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-02 09:38:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

风动
万籁唇语:

“坐怀水火的生死之外”


问好~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-02 10:23:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

听与读的声色之外

无惧嘘声倒戈城邦
  
击掌泥沙为扶手的花嫁

很别致的诗行. 冰夕, 我有一种感觉, 台湾诗人写诗时更惜字些, 不知是否? Embarassed
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冰夕
童生


Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 92
Location: 台灣北部
冰夕Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-02 10:39:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
风动
万籁唇语:

“坐怀水火的生死之外”


问好~


唔唔 ^_^ 握好明月勉励星星知我心 呵 Cool
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冰夕
童生


Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 92
Location: 台灣北部
冰夕Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-02 10:52:00    Post subject: 短跑的爆发力与马拉松的耐力,我都还在学习中 Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
听与读的声色之外

无惧嘘声倒戈城邦
  
击掌泥沙为扶手的花嫁

很别致的诗行. 冰夕, 我有一种感觉, 台湾诗人写诗时更惜字些, 不知是否? Embarassed


嗯。白水慧眼犀利
因此首为短作制,所以会冀望锻字 练习之 :)

关于现代叙事诗的长句
我也在修练观读中
只是现在我还太生涩拉杂,所以都还搁在密室里修葺炼丹的
学习如何憋气 精炼长句 游得长远些 呵

往后还请白水
不吝多指点我 Embarassed
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彭世学
秀才


Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 187
Location: 中国
彭世学Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-02 18:55:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

无惧嘘声倒戈城邦
  击掌泥沙为扶手的花嫁
  揭竿奥义宇宙 
  风动
  万籁唇语:

  “坐怀水火的生死之外
欣赏!问好!!
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-05 10:42:05    Post subject: Re: 短跑的爆发力与马拉松的耐力,我都还在学习中 Reply with quote

冰夕 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
听与读的声色之外

无惧嘘声倒戈城邦
  
击掌泥沙为扶手的花嫁

很别致的诗行. 冰夕, 我有一种感觉, 台湾诗人写诗时更惜字些, 不知是否? Embarassed


嗯。白水慧眼犀利
因此首为短作制,所以会冀望锻字 练习之 :)

关于现代叙事诗的长句
我也在修练观读中
只是现在我还太生涩拉杂,所以都还搁在密室里修葺炼丹的
学习如何憋气 精炼长句 游得长远些 呵

往后还请白水
不吝多指点我 Embarassed


欣见两位才女相惜。 Laughing
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鲁齐
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 101
Location: 中国山东
鲁齐Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-05 18:20:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

简约洗练,值得认真阅读玩味.

改日和一首 蜀葵.
问好.
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诗歌是一面旗帜!
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