Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
我是一名流浪汉(修改)
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 05:10:20    Post subject: 我是一名流浪汉(修改) Reply with quote

我是一名流浪汉


我是一名流浪汉

孑孑独行在初冬的大街

冻僵的小蛇在寒风中惊醒

游走在每个发颤的毛孔


橱窗里挂满厚实的冬衣

隔着玻璃透射眩目的冷光

一只白毛小狗

幸福在主人棉帽做的小窝


饭店里,热腾腾的酒香

顺着帘角刺进麻木的鼻腔

挥一挥疲惫的胳膊

将咕咕乱鸣的小鸟赶上天空



贴在墙上的“美人”

衣衫比金钱更显单薄

夕阳迸射出最后的余热

仍穿不透厚重的云层

被冷风吹散


瑟瑟独行在初冬的黄昏

我要赶在天黑前

寻找一隅

将自己点燃






2006-12-1
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
漂之雨
童生


Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 53

漂之雨Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 08:46:12    Post subject: 老朋友了,呵呵,远握! Reply with quote

角度不错,但感觉语境欠缺了些.个见请斟!问好!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 18:05:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

我瑟瑟独行在初冬的黄昏


"是一名流浪汉"
可以省略掉
_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog Visit poster's website
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 21:58:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢和平的老师的建议~
问好了~

漂兄也来了啊,握手,问好~
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
漂之雨
童生


Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 53

漂之雨Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-01 22:45:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
谢谢和平的老师的建议~
问好了~

漂兄也来了啊,握手,问好~


呵呵,答应过蓝桥君的,但迟到了
远握!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-02 16:00:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

选材不错
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
蓝桥
秀才


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 105

蓝桥Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-03 06:51:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-04 05:00:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

瑟瑟独行在初冬的黄昏

我要赶在天黑前

寻找一隅

将自己点燃





冬日独语,心灵之浅唱
_________________
黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME