Maple Review :: View topic - 女人 (无聊无赖又把老家伙赶出来）

	Chinese Literature Society of North America \| Maple Review \| Immigrants in Canada \| Angel Studio \| The Driftwood Artist Society \| Ocean of Poetry \| Island of Music "HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
	FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Sign in Blogs Weblogs News Album



Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

女人 (无聊无赖又把老家伙赶出来）

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-13 22:42:12 Post subject: 女人 (无聊无赖又把老家伙赶出来）

女人 91,8 我爱那痴情殷殷的女人── 用她眼角的哀怨纫绕我一生的变迁凭谁问，是追是逃只记得，多少回轻易抛舍，无言打马而我被泪水濡湿的双肩总会送给风，一路清凉我荣耀的传奇就是她寂寞的故事可当某天，我终于身败名裂── 一个爱出风头的人此刻只盼着被人忘掉这时我会想起她纤细的声音，惶恐的眼神…… 她的要求就是我活着在她身边天天吃她做的菜饭我爱那寡情善变的女人用她唇上的弧光指挥我心灵中的黑暗她给予我的记忆是她肩头蓬袖间回射的绝美一粲她对于我的回忆是她与别人的好事将我戏弄并不消耗她的聪颖让我心恸也从不惊动她的良善而她对我一点微不足道的关切是我客馆内回味无穷的温暖她片刻的真诚是我一生不变的感动 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-13 23:25:09 Post subject:

我爱那痴情殷殷的女人── 我爱那寡情善变的女人你爱两个女人？：）问好ＮＯＢＯＤＹ，深情哈～

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-13 23:53:38 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

你爱两个女人？：）

不好意思，没完成指标。人家都爱百儿八十的。在他们的努力下，平均每个女人都被68.23人爱着。
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-14 01:08:24 Post subject:

在他们的努力下，平均每个女人都被68.23人爱着。从哪得来的这指标？

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-10-14 01:17:59 Post subject:

片刻的真诚是一生不变的感动。

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-14 02:43:11 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

在他们的努力下，平均每个女人都被68.23人爱着。
从哪得来的这指标？ Shocked

看来明月没有达到平均水平。。。加油！
如果最后还差0.23个，我会奋不顾身。。。 Very Happy

另外，少君也会义不容辞，以一当十的！ Very Happy

_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-10-14 03:17:51 Post subject:

就是７个少君，你还得一当八才勉强够指标～

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-10-14 20:53:13 Post subject:

哈哈！有人夸我，太高兴了！定不负众望！好诗，功夫在诗外----- _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

黑雨滴
秀才

Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection

Posted: 2007-10-14 20:57:37 Post subject:

这样的女人多好，可是做起来很难很难 _________________ 个人主页：http://blog.sina.com.cn/afirewang

子花
秀才

Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-10-14 23:44:21 Post subject:

来学习!!!

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-15 14:04:29 Post subject:

感谢以上各位莅临指导。多谢。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2007-10-15 14:29:19 Post subject:

你们开玩笑，我来谈诗。两种可能：一是真有两个这样的女人，一位属“下橱房”型，一位属“出厅堂”型，要是时光倒过去100多年，有钱男人多半都有。哦，现在有人也有。另一种可能是虚写，写一种对社会的思考或自己潜意识的渴望。这些属于诗人的诗意秘密。也许诗人情太浓了而忘了诗的技巧，直言叙说而不是“借物传情”，直露袒情而不是“以象赋意”。 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-15 15:24:06 Post subject:

感谢道模的认真阅读。是虚写吧。渴望不渴望也都是从前了，哈哈。从日期看已经是写诗的后期基本上没有“借物传情”或者“以象赋意”。大都是直接了当，简单粗暴，哈哈。不知道是不是走向了另一个极端。也许应该留出空间让人玩味。也是性格所至吧，transparent（透明）. 不喜欢有阻隔。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-10-15 16:49:31 Post subject:

她的要求就是我活着在她身边天天吃她做的菜饭喜欢这一节. 写的传神, 也抓住了女性心理特征. 绝大多数女性, 无论是进得了厅堂的,还是下得了厨房的, 无论是温柔贤淑的, 还是河东狮吼的. I BELIEVE THAT THEY GET SIMILAR FELEING.

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2007-10-16 00:03:52 Post subject:

多谢白水。一打开电脑，哗，整个被浇了一遍，连我这衰草朽木也浇到了，好滋润呀！啦，啦，啦。。。朽木开花啦。。。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-10-16 08:57:22 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

多谢白水。一打开电脑，哗，整个被浇了一遍，连我这衰草朽木也浇到了，好滋润呀！啦，啦，啦。。。朽木开花啦。。。 Laughing

这么喜欢听好听的, 好象不是你了 Wink

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-10-17 17:55:26 Post subject:

虽是旧作，但很耐读！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

Display posts from previous:

Emoticons





View more Emoticons

Page 1 of 1 View previous topic View next topic

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME