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◎小火焰的身世
千里
秀才


Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 135

千里Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-11 03:34:23    Post subject: ◎小火焰的身世 Reply with quote

◎小火焰的身世

我的诗,常常
因为某些担心而断句——
   比如,小火柴
就算不会写诗的人都知道:
难道,就这样 ?!

( 小火柴的童句 )      

今晚 / 今晚
 月不明 / 月不明
 星不灿 / 星不灿
可是, / 可是, / 我要你的双眼 / 我要你的双眼
亮晶晶 / 亮晶晶

像, / 像, / 新擦的火柴 / 新擦的火柴
棒尖上有跳着芭蕾的 / 棒尖上有跳着芭蕾的
小火焰, / 小火焰, / 只为 /     

隐去的夜 /                
努力地舞一回 /                 
       2007.09.04 — 05
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-11 03:42:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢这组. 灵动, 新意.
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-11 04:48:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢。
在标点符号上赋予创新,不容易, 前两天在诚品看到一些新书,讲的是正规的用法。我碰巧也在琢磨这方面的事。
请继续。
_________________
(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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