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睡吧,一块青春的石头 Previous  [1]2
hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-06 02:04:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

黑与白


1)
我们开始挖掘
彼此的坟墓

在挖通之前
我们的世界是黑暗的

我们用漆黑的眼睛
装饰出一个明亮的世界


2)

是谁用闪电击中了我
漆黑之夜

让我像那风一样
自由吧

像暴雨一样
从闪电中走来
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jemmy
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Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 414
Location: china
jemmyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-06 03:29:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首,我觉得还是保留原来的吧,直到有天,突然灵感来了,再改不迟
喜欢第二首,不过,岛爷觉得自己不自由吗?
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2007-10-06 06:23:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

在古墓里闭关数月, 出来放风了?
看来只是随便活动活动, 写的太草了. 泼点凉水.得罪了. 开溜 Wink
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