半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-05 21:29:34 Post subject: 还是随感 |
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6
结果都一样
忙音和盲音,说不出
哪个更好些
湿漉漉的气压。水珠
从地板缝里挤出来
像散落一地的水银
如果不是重金属
有没有人愿意喝下去
小妇人已经成熟
手心里,攥着蓝手帕
7
像一尾鱼
许多念头一纵就逝
我抓不住的寂寞
游在痛的边缘
细微的生活字眼中
我总能挑出快乐
满足,如街边的俗妇
对男人的侧目和女人的愤世
熟视无睹
可寂寞,如漏风的窗户
轻飘飘的心帘,总在暗夜掀动
起身,将风关于窗外 |
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hepingdao Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2007-10-05 21:37:37 Post subject: |
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也是看了什么故事
感慨吧 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-05 21:45:17 Post subject: |
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哈哈,和你一样~  |
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hepingdao Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 01:21:53 Post subject: |
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有感而发
总是好事情 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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杯中冲浪 进士出身
Joined: 29 Sep 2006 Posts: 2891 Location: 中国 杯中冲浪Collection |
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桔子 秀才

Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 214
桔子Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 03:43:11 Post subject: |
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像一尾鱼
许多念头一纵就逝
我抓不住的寂寞
游在痛的边缘
好感觉  |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 05:22:49 Post subject: |
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轻飘飘的心帘,总在暗夜掀动
起身,将风关于窗外
月亮, 心动了  |
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上城 进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 2024 Location: 江夏黄鹤楼 上城Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 05:29:42 Post subject: |
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读此诗不得不心动 _________________ 每个诗人都很重要 |
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上城 进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 2024 Location: 江夏黄鹤楼 上城Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 05:32:38 Post subject: |
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| hepingdao wrote: |
有感而发
总是好事情 |
岛主话外有音。难道此诗不好么?心动没有? _________________ 每个诗人都很重要 |
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上城 进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 2024 Location: 江夏黄鹤楼 上城Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 05:35:19 Post subject: |
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建议写完整。长几十节。期待 _________________ 每个诗人都很重要 |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 06:47:09 Post subject: |
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赫赫,下次一定要多看看李清照的词~
谢谢狼哥的夸奖~ |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 07:11:23 Post subject: |
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| 桔子 wrote: |
像一尾鱼
许多念头一纵就逝
我抓不住的寂寞
游在痛的边缘
好感觉  |
谢桔子点评,问好! |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 07:13:46 Post subject: |
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| 白水 Moonlight wrote: |
轻飘飘的心帘,总在暗夜掀动
起身,将风关于窗外
月亮, 心动了  |
呵呵,但愿能打动你心  |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 07:23:06 Post subject: |
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呵呵,伤城,你把这诗说太好了,其实没有什么新东西,继续努力吧!
对了,你的签名好象是写给我的诗歌吧,又不太一样 |
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上城 进士出身

Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 2024 Location: 江夏黄鹤楼 上城Collection |
Posted: 2007-10-06 07:38:15 Post subject: |
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那签名后两句是从我的长诗《风雪行》中挖来的。
连同前面的两句,凑个“集句”吧。
不是没有新东西。只是这两日读希腊罗马的诗太多了,有的很激动。
但很多也不堪卒读。读读北美枫,也有另一种风景。比如你第七首写得
很美,富于深深的美感。如你看一眼世纪初的象征,浪漫,大抵差不多。
读多了粗糙,朴素,读读有古典伤感的很好。真是突然心动! _________________ 每个诗人都很重要 |
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