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《谁是黑的》
墨林
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Joined: 16 Sep 2007
Posts: 427
Location: 中国山东省青岛市
墨林Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 04:39:24    Post subject: 《谁是黑的》 Reply with quote

《谁是黑的》

  文/墨林

比煤还黑的心在拨弄着

矿工的亡灵 三下五除二

死亡者的花名册中却活了几个


矿主啊 煤是你的命根子

难道矿工的命还没有那块煤值钱


但愿比煤还黑的还是煤

谁也不要拿生命的支票去购买死亡


欢迎来我的博客做客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/dmdqw
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诗歌是不朽的人性之美的灵光;诗歌是人类最纯粹的精神家园。

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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 14:28:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好墨林?你写诗多久了?
要学会区分诗歌和新闻,你这首诗还没有超过新闻。诗歌是审美的,在“审美”上多下工夫。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2007-10-04 18:02:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

很好的着眼点. 问好
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

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PostPosted: 2007-10-04 18:28:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

同意周的说法.慢慢来,会写好的~
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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PostPosted: 2007-10-04 21:34:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
同意周的说法.慢慢来,会写好的~


墨林的诗歌 一项都很好 :)

要把现实的东西 带进诗歌,还要有水准,不容易。。

建议 周 和 半,尝试用同样的命题 写一首来讨论!

。。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 01:21:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

这种报上登电视播大家都知道并且好坏分明的事件,对诗歌来说是最难写的,搞不好就是用诗歌形式重复或翻译新闻。我是有些害怕涉及此类题材的,很少写。美伊战争暴发时我心里很痛苦,写了一篇《人类的悲哀》,不是就事论事,而是联想、概括和揭示。现还在“西方文学”栏目上,敬请各位阅批。这算完成作业了吧。
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墨林
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Joined: 16 Sep 2007
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Location: 中国山东省青岛市
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PostPosted: 2007-10-05 04:15:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
很好的着眼点. 问好

谢,白水的点评与问候!
_________________
诗歌是不朽的人性之美的灵光;诗歌是人类最纯粹的精神家园。

http://blog.sina.com.cn/dmdqw
http://blog.bandao.cn/archive/8025/
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墨林
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 03:18:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:
半溪明月 wrote:
同意周的说法.慢慢来,会写好的~


墨林的诗歌 一项都很好 :)

要把现实的东西 带进诗歌,还要有水准,不容易。。

建议 周 和 半,尝试用同样的命题 写一首来讨论!

。。


同意kokho的建议,我们学习了!
_________________
诗歌是不朽的人性之美的灵光;诗歌是人类最纯粹的精神家园。

http://blog.sina.com.cn/dmdqw
http://blog.bandao.cn/archive/8025/
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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-10-07 15:13:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的话说得太直,得罪墨林了!
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墨林
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Joined: 16 Sep 2007
Posts: 427
Location: 中国山东省青岛市
墨林Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-09 04:34:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
我的话说得太直,得罪墨林了!


喜欢你的直言.我们应该感谢kokho,他为我们的友谊搭桥的呀.可谓:以文会友.向kokho致谢!
_________________
诗歌是不朽的人性之美的灵光;诗歌是人类最纯粹的精神家园。

http://blog.sina.com.cn/dmdqw
http://blog.bandao.cn/archive/8025/
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-09 06:36:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢墨林的聪明理解,愿我们共勉写出好诗!
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