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安静的雨
zhangmin
秀才


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-02 17:56:56    Post subject: 安静的雨 Reply with quote

我没有病 只是
在思索 月的影子
不愿 进入
你的角落 我
渗透的心 摧残
土墙的卑微 让微笑
拐弯

你是鱼 在
秋叶的凉棚下 聆听
天籁 我
静的可怕 把大唐之魂
勾起

灯光 在我的眼里
不再娇柔 种子
不容忍 我的调戏
掘开 坟墓
跪拜在你堂前 认祖
归宗

长路 闪着
我的泪光 为你离开
诵咏经文 还是
带不走 一地
情怀
中国.江苏.张敏
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-02 18:49:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的泪光 为你离开
诵咏经文 还是
带不走 一地
情怀 。。。。。。。。。。。。柔情。
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zhangmin
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Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-02 22:18:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢,赵君,问好。
_________________
风走过,灯灭了,黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。
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zhangmin
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Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 04:24:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

怎么不提一个呀? Sad
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风走过,灯灭了,黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。
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阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 15:08:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

你是鱼 在
秋叶的凉棚下 聆听
天籁 我
静的可怕 把大唐之魂
勾起
_________________
踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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zhangmin
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Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 16:21:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢啊,问好。
_________________
风走过,灯灭了,黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 18:31:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

感觉题目没取好,把人的思路引岔了~有点摸不着头脑
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-04 21:31:51    Post subject: Reply with quote



《》感觉很好,你诗风成熟,应该走出朗诵诗歌的范畴 :)

。。 都是楼主自己的文字,没加一个。。

月的影子 没有病 只是在思索
不愿 进入土墙的卑微角落 
渗透的心 让微笑摧残拐弯

鱼在 秋叶的凉棚下 聆听
天籁 静的可怕 把大唐之魂勾起

灯光 不再娇柔
种子 不容忍调戏
掘开坟墓 跪拜在谁堂前 认祖归宗

长路 闪着泪光 为离开诵咏经文
还是带不走
。      一地情怀

。。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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zhangmin
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Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 450
Location: 中国.江苏.张家港
zhangminCollection
PostPosted: 2007-10-06 21:22:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢修改,得意非浅,感谢,问好。
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风走过,灯灭了,黑夜里你的烟雾尘埃在我的眼泪里。月光下的影子总为屋檐下的风铃疗伤。
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