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有风刮过
水手
童生


Joined: 29 Sep 2007
Posts: 46
Location: 四平
水手Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-29 07:57:35    Post subject: 有风刮过 Reply with quote

我本无意

发现了你的秘密。

一桢玉照从日记里滑落,

日记里,

密密麻麻,

那是你青春火烫的心雨。



抢过相片,

你将它撕得粉碎,

顺手丢在风里。

你说:

一切都已过去;

莫提起,

那是苦涩的回忆。



静静地,

依偎在你的怀里。

听你讲述她的故事:

你投笔从戎——顶天立地;

她翘首等待——你的归期。

鸿雁传情,

填满了思念的距离。

待你荣归故里,

她已披上华美的嫁衣,

但新郎不是你。

无言的结局,

令你痛苦凄迷。



轻轻拭去,

眼角的泪滴,

怕你发觉:

我的丝丝妒意。

如果曾经的故事里,

只有我和你,

那该是多么完美的结局!



微笑着,

拾起满地的碎片。

珍藏吧!

那曾经的美丽;

初恋的情愫,

请封存在你的心底。
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友爱-坚定-乐观-
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-29 15:51:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

欢迎水手!

娓娓到来
注意简练.

问好!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 00:33:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

静静地,

依偎在你的怀里。

听你讲述她的故事。。。。。。。。。。。。。温柔的述说。
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 06:29:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

还要提炼,营造诗意空间.
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-30 20:58:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏你的胸襟. 为人是诗之本. 等你更好的作品.
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-10-01 04:35:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

你终于来了!!提读!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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水手
童生


Joined: 29 Sep 2007
Posts: 46
Location: 四平
水手Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-18 07:34:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢大家
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友爱-坚定-乐观-
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水手
童生


Joined: 29 Sep 2007
Posts: 46
Location: 四平
水手Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-18 07:34:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢大家
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