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红樱枪(外一首)
黑雨滴
秀才


Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-22 07:15:20    Post subject: 红樱枪(外一首) Reply with quote

《红樱枪》
刚刚过去的这个夏天
有点儿冷
冷而潮湿,一棵白蜡树
抖动身体取暧
它的梦想停留在人类肢体的某个部分
肩头、腿部或者胸口
它渴望饮下红色的汁液
变得通体乌黑
如黑暗一般黑

一棵白蜡树
非雌非雄
关于赤壁和楚歌
它一无所知
它只是被安置
被展览
沉默得一本正经
且神秘
它倾心于玄铁的刀口
和黑漆漆的火焰

《没有喝醉》
如同雨水
冲淡每一个挣扎的早晨
每一个瞬间
都朦胧着一个影子
扑向铁铸的胸口
千年,万年
刀与刀的交锋藏在泥土深处
一坛老白干
豪爽地走过文字
绕过田园

会喝醉么?
在街头
在巷底
抑或在装了无数美人的电脑对面

驻足于另外的季节
没有回答

衡水是一座简陋的城
而我坐在更为简陋的屋门口
想象你
以鹰的姿态
飞过撒满麦地的黄河岸
你俯下头
看见
清清的河水
蓝蓝的天
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-22 20:11:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

一棵白蜡树
非雌非雄
关于赤壁和楚歌
它一无所知
它只是被安置
被展览
沉默得一本正经

欣赏这样的描述
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-23 17:10:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

两首都不错

<红缨枪>更好一些.
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-23 18:21:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

这样写红樱枪别有味道,有感觉的2首。
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-09-25 01:34:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

有水准的写手 :)


拜读 问好 :)

[朋友 除了发贴,多给诗友们回帖哟。。]


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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-25 06:34:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

好!
欣赏!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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黑雨滴
秀才


Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-27 04:00:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢大家的光临
我已经在努力回贴了,可实在不懂理论,说得不好
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-27 06:00:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏!问好!
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刘雨萍
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Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-27 07:38:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

红樱枪这首确实不错. 用白蜡树来表达的意象很独到.
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