Maple Review :: View topic - 打野鸡（外一首）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

打野鸡（外一首）

宣城田斌
秀才

Joined: 16 Jul 2007
Posts: 242

宣城田斌Collection

Posted: 2007-09-20 12:55:07 Post subject: 打野鸡（外一首）

打野鸡（外一首）田斌我目睹了一个老猎人打野鸡的全过程老猎人带着他的猎狗在丘陵的林丛间寻觅好事的猎狗在草丛里左闻闻右闻闻在蓬起的刺棵中惊飞出一只野鸡 “叭”的一声老猎人端起的土枪响起野鸡应声入地猎狗飞一样地窜过去用血红的嘴叼回了还未断气的野鸡老猎人俯下身用手摸了摸猎狗的头把野鸡放进竹背篓微笑着背着夕阳回家《看房》小荣她出门的时候总爱把房间让给我看管看是没什么可看的管是没什么可管的晚上睡在她软棉棉的床上总让我想入非非一梦醒来要是她躺在我身边我知道那个梦才算圆邮编：242000 通联：皖宣城市开元小区宣州区文化馆电话：（0563）2025012 E-mail: xctianbin@163.com

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-09-20 18:28:34 Post subject:

——简约，而不简单` _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-09-20 19:04:18 Post subject:

田斌老师的诗有特色~

迪拜
同进士出身

Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection

Posted: 2007-09-20 21:50:37 Post subject:

写的过程确实详细但是,都没有表现出读者该领会的东西缺少"思维的核心" <看房>好一点点.

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-09-21 18:07:48 Post subject:

诗不错。更喜欢后一首。 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

宣城田斌
秀才

Joined: 16 Jul 2007
Posts: 242

宣城田斌Collection

Posted: 2007-09-22 21:36:18 Post subject:

谢！祝中秋节快乐！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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