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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 10:13:16    Post subject: 铁 Reply with quote

在孤单的尽头
是空旷的广场
在寂寞的中央
是心跳的力量

相向而立
伟人的塑像
是睁着眼睛的铜
我替他叹息
千年之后的青年
听见衰老的回声

法律和道德
货币与游戏
城市还有温床
属于这个铁丝网
属于欲望
属于王国

而他们的痛苦
是我的国土
他们的泪光
是十一月的雨

雨中的广场
你不肯绝望
那些铜
不再有思想
你是有体温的铁
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遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 10:54:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

三个字“那些铜”——又冷又烫,它烙在我视网膜上很久。

我想起少年时看到的句子:“……让我能把我的老骨悠然横陈,在遗忘中安息。哦,蛆虫!无耳目的黝黑的良朋,告诉我,这个失去灵魂的老身可还会苦痛” 多少年了,160年了吧……新的痛苦还在生发,新的诗人更苦于赞美。
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南岩
童生


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 78
Location: 江西、临川
南岩Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 12:57:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

非常有穿力度得作品,问好你
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 14:39:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

有思想内涵的诗歌.

感觉这一小节和全诗的风格有异, 不知诗人是怎样考虑的?

法律和道德
货币与游戏
城市还有温床
属于这个铁丝网
属于欲望
属于王国
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 17:06:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

是很有穿透力!

野兽的力量! super man
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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千里
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Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 135

千里Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-15 02:09:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

你好,

来读过。
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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-15 05:13:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢各位支持。

如白水兄所言,中间一段,有一些不顺。想要表述的太多,舍不得拿掉几个对象。以后会做修改。

向各位问好。
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