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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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新作四首
陶杰
童生


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

陶杰Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-11 16:26:24    Post subject: 新作四首 Reply with quote

残迹


包头巾的女人,大雾中
浮现出一张盾牌似的脸
正在被抹掉
那个同睡一床的人,尚未看见她
镜子一片空白
眼睛还在模仿镜子
迷雾比皱纹更深
从依稀到依稀
但我认出了她,一个女人的残迹:
她的孤独,以及
一个被冬天抓紧的姿势
她缩成一团,要把自己
混同于那片灰蒙蒙的灌木
仅仅是一晃而过
寒气传过来
便没了下文

2007年9月10日





一场大雾向她使了定身法
开始涂改她:省略掉四肢,身体变成虚线
同样模糊的童年
可有可无的晚年
而她,比这场大雾
更用力地遮蔽着自己:
头巾 棉袄 半开半合的眼皮
手势被装进灰色的裤袋
手心里的小伤疤
永远不为人知
骑摩托急驰而过的瞬间
一张脸扬起来
就像一个湿漉漉的谜面
扬起来 但抖不掉
白茫茫的双眼中
一个猜谜者的
死灰



2007年9月11日


一个人的南方


你去了南方
我为北方鼓盆而歌
它的旱季、热病
低陷而汹涌的河流
就要被晚年一样的冰层覆盖

被头使劲往上拉
学会埋头大睡,鼻息之外:
生活的柔软和汗味。
说说这样的幸福——
想起自己,就像想起一个
亡故多年的人

南方依旧遥远,一年比一年
雨水充沛
五谷丰登

2007年8月28日



醒来


越来越响亮
越来越嘈杂
就像窗帘低垂的挂号窗
在昏暗中,承受着挤压
“请打开吧!”
于是,你醒来
站到窗前——
白昼空旷
伸个懒腰
你依然
赤身裸体

2007年9月10日
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杨光
秀才


Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 683

杨光Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-11 17:48:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

寒气传过来
便没了下文

喜欢这样的诗意结尾.
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杨光的语言空间

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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-11 19:03:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

<一个人的南方>

写的比较好
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陶杰
童生


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

陶杰Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-12 05:05:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好杨光和迪拜!谢谢阅读!
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-12 05:27:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

说说这样的幸福——
想起自己,就像想起一个
亡故多年的人


绝句!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-12 09:55:18    Post subject: Re: 新作四首 Reply with quote

陶杰 wrote:
南方依旧遥远,一年比一年
雨水充沛
五谷丰登

有點海子的味道。
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I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
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陶杰
童生


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

陶杰Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-13 20:09:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好少君兄和戴玨兄!诸位若对拙作从整体提提宝贵意见,小弟将不胜感激!!
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-13 23:00:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错的诗!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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陶杰
童生


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

陶杰Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-14 04:43:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好杨兄,谢谢!是你们的鼓励让我不断进步!
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