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废墟
沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-02 16:51:02    Post subject: 废墟 Reply with quote

废墟

沉浸于如此的寂静和生机
几页梦境翻过,炊烟消逝怠尽
断墙脚下,斑驳的石头
隐隐浮出欢笑、吵闹和叹息
日子依然光顾不暇,但找不到
盛放的容器、祭坛和皮鞭
它们涣散在泥土里,层层叠叠
慢慢变黑。岁月的痕迹
淡去和丰盈,不知道与谁有关
阴晴圆缺的生命,还原进更深的河流
无声而眠或发出暗哑的梦呓
草尖上生成的回忆和憧憬
晃晃悠悠,若有似无




趁你眼中的温度还未逃离
缤纷年华还未褪成旧事
我集合前程的风景,将笔蘸饱墨水
为你画一条心灵的路,设置
曲径通幽和虚掩的门。钥匙
作为一种信心,让前行的方向
始终如一。花草、流水和鸟鸣
被你熟悉并收藏,从此
你的花园和天空,无懈可击


纪念·八月

我进入一颗小米,借着她的
高度,俯视天空和生命
八月,开始用血色濯洗道路
和迷蒙的眼睛。谁在指点江山
七月的种子,十月收获

层层叠叠的脚印,低于
芳草,高过旗帜
谁在泥土之下,发芽成遒劲的
碑铭。让我们以仰望
的姿势,收藏第一枚枪声
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-02 18:36:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

非常好的诗歌
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-03 06:24:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

我进入一颗小米,借着她的
高度,俯视天空和生命
八月,开始用血色濯洗道路
和迷蒙的眼睛。。。。。。。有感觉。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-03 18:58:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

纪念·八月

我进入一颗小米,借着她的
高度,俯视天空和生命
八月,开始用血色濯洗道路
和迷蒙的眼睛。谁在指点江山
七月的种子,十月收获
层层叠叠的脚印,低于
芳草,高过旗帜
谁在泥土之下,发芽成狂劲的
碑铭。让我们以仰望
的姿势,收藏第一声枪声

这类诗歌竟能写出如此诗意, 不得不说好了.提读.
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-09-03 20:18:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

这几首
特别好

沉稳,意韵极佳

建议加精
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-03 20:24:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢兄弟们的鼓励!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-03 20:29:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
这几首
特别好

沉稳,意韵极佳

建议加精


的确值得加精
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-04 07:24:49    Post subject: Re: 废墟 Reply with quote

沙漠 wrote:
废墟

沉浸于如此的寂静和生机
几页梦境翻过,炊烟消逝怠尽
断墙脚下,斑驳的石头
隐隐浮出欢笑、吵闹和叹息
日子依然光顾不暇,但找不到
盛放的容器、祭坛和皮鞭
它们涣散在泥土里,层层叠叠
慢慢变黑。岁月的痕迹
淡去和丰盈,不知道与谁有关
阴晴圆缺的生命,还原进更深的河流
无声而眠或发出暗哑的梦呓
草尖上生成的回忆和憧憬
晃晃悠悠,若有似无




趁你眼中的温度还未逃离
缤纷年华还未褪成旧事
我集合前程的风景,将笔蘸饱墨水
为你画一条心灵的路,设置
曲径通幽和虚掩的门。钥匙
作为一种信心,让前行的方向
始终如一。
花草、流水和鸟鸣
被你熟悉并收藏,从此
你的花园和天空,无懈可击


纪念·八月

我进入一颗小米,借着她的
高度,俯视天空和生命
八月,开始用血色濯洗道路
和迷蒙的眼睛。谁在指点江山
[b]七月的种子,十月收获

层层叠叠的脚印,低于
芳草,高过旗帜
谁在泥土之下,发芽成遒劲的
碑铭。让我们以仰望
的姿势,收藏第一枚枪声[/b]



质感,有味的好诗,先收了~问好沙漠~
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新华
秀才


Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 225

新华Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-04 17:21:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

纪念·八月

我进入一颗小米,借着她的
高度,俯视天空和生命
八月,开始用血色濯洗道路
和迷蒙的眼睛。谁在指点江山
七月的种子,十月收获

层层叠叠的脚印,低于
芳草,高过旗帜
谁在泥土之下,发芽成遒劲的
碑铭。让我们以仰望
的姿势,收藏第一枚枪声
新颖,学习。 Embarassed
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-04 22:13:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

精炼,厚重。耐品。值得借鉴学习。
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-22 06:58:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢朋友们抬举:)
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黑雨滴
秀才


Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-22 07:01:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢最后一首《纪念。八月》,问好
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天一黑
童生


Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 52

天一黑Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-22 09:41:19    Post subject: 怎么觉的像是机器写的 Reply with quote

随便摆点形容词进去都可以这样


如果咱把这些形容词去了,不知道效果如何
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千里
秀才


Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 135

千里Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-22 14:28:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

日子依然光顾不暇,但找不到
盛放的容器、祭坛和皮鞭
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