Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007. 		  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
鬼戏 Previous  [1]2[3]  Next
新华
秀才


Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 225

新华Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-28 22:21:26    Post subject: Reply with quote
移莲步,抛水袖
咿咿呀呀,我唱出思恋
唱一出没有书生对白的独角戏
很有趣...谢谢老师对我的指点。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:15:14    Post subject: Reply with quote
伤城 wrote:
nobody wrote:
阿依琼裙 wrote:
明月，修订的很好，很完美，几处地方都尽善尽美～～
流畅自然，起伏跌拓～～
赞！建议版主加精！


大家都这么喜欢，我也没办法，只好服从了。。。


遇到一个苗族的，他说七月半是鬼节。第一次听说过。
今天听见你的鬼戏了。哈哈，明月的诗越来越凄凉了


呵呵，写起来就不由自己了，其实我人一点也不凄凉哈～ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:18:58    Post subject: Reply with quote
白水 Moonlight wrote:
月亮, 鬼节是阳历哪天?
Wink


农历７月１５，从子时开始．但过节一般是从１３就开始了，在荒郊野外给死去的人烧纸～
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:20:07    Post subject: Reply with quote
下一个偶像是野兽 wrote:
拜读。问好。


问好偶像～ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:23:11    Post subject: Reply with quote
顾小花 wrote:
拜读,问好!


谢阅读，我收藏了你的九寨归来学习～问好！ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:25:10    Post subject: Reply with quote
杨海军 wrote:
好！！提读！！

问好海军～多保重哦！ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:28:10    Post subject: Reply with quote
迪拜 wrote:
半溪明月:

有一个大胆设想,

把这首诗歌的每一个小节的"最后一句,去掉"

最后一节,保留第一句,

试一试,如果不行,就算了.


呵呵，感觉不太尽意～问好！ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 04:36:18    Post subject: Reply with quote
新华 wrote:
移莲步,抛水袖
咿咿呀呀,我唱出思恋
唱一出没有书生对白的独角戏
很有趣...谢谢老师对我的指点。


问好新华，千万别喊我老师，我也是新学写的，大家互相学习吧～ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 12:53:56    Post subject: Reply with quote
半溪明月 wrote:
迪拜 wrote:
半溪明月:

有一个大胆设想,

把这首诗歌的每一个小节的"最后一句,去掉"

最后一节,保留第一句,

试一试,如果不行,就算了.


呵呵，感觉不太尽意～问好！ Very Happy

倒覺得迪拜說的有些道理，有些句子像是詩人在為讀者作注解，如果去掉可以令讀者更專注於形象。
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 16:01:48    Post subject: Reply with quote
一出鬼戏,唱得人间翻覆.
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-29 20:40:17    Post subject: Reply with quote
明月姐姐的诗歌
虽然
都带着那么一种彻底的痛深入隐形的潜处
但让人读了有缭绕在心头的惊喜。
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
黑牙
童生


Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 54

黑牙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-30 05:02:17    Post subject: Reply with quote
挺好。提起~````````
_________________
有一个位置，我从来都没有找到。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 14:14:51    Post subject: Reply with quote
难得一见的好诗！再提！
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 15:40:33    Post subject: Reply with quote
戴玨 wrote:
半溪明月 wrote:
迪拜 wrote:
半溪明月:

有一个大胆设想,

把这首诗歌的每一个小节的"最后一句,去掉"

最后一节,保留第一句,

试一试,如果不行,就算了.


呵呵，感觉不太尽意～问好！ Very Happy

倒覺得迪拜說的有些道理，有些句子像是詩人在為讀者作注解，如果去掉可以令讀者更專注於形象。


恩，可以考虑，感觉是写得有点尽～
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 15:42:47    Post subject: Reply with quote
nobody wrote:
一出鬼戏,唱得人间翻覆.


呵呵，不是你动员我修改，我也不会这样费劲周折～感谢！ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 15:44:52    Post subject: Reply with quote
金金 wrote:
明月姐姐的诗歌
虽然
都带着那么一种彻底的痛深入隐形的潜处
但让人读了有缭绕在心头的惊喜。

谢谢金金的赞赏，你的意识流虽然不是很懂，但能看出还是很有功力的～ Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 15:49:00    Post subject: Reply with quote
黑牙 wrote:
挺好。提起~````````

谢谢黑牙～
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-31 15:54:32    Post subject: Reply with quote
杨海军 wrote:
难得一见的好诗！再提！

感谢海军的肯定，还需多提提意见～
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-02 02:17:19    Post subject: Reply with quote
金金 wrote:
明月姐姐的诗歌
虽然
都带着那么一种彻底的痛深入隐形的潜处
但让人读了有缭绕在心头的惊喜。


好象是也.请看

戏半月溪明

北美枫坛遇半溪 , 半溪明月半半仙.
仙子起舞风萧瑟, 鲍坟一唱些凄凉.
忽闻昨日为鬼节, 忽忆人鬼何相隔?
阴阳往来成古今, 三生石上苦梦惊.
美眉不美看白眉, 长爪奇罕传妙音.
鼍鼓龙笛齐相奏, 众生陶陶几欲翩.
一轮明月出长秋, 月明溪半降娥仙.


都带着那么一种彻底的痛深入隐形的潜处
但让人读了有缭绕在心头的惊喜
_________________
每个诗人都很重要
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-09-02 02:28:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
伤城 wrote:
金金 wrote:
明月姐姐的诗歌
虽然
都带着那么一种彻底的痛深入隐形的潜处
但让人读了有缭绕在心头的惊喜。


好象是也.请看

戏半月溪明

北美枫坛遇半溪 , 半溪明月半半仙.
仙子起舞风萧瑟, 鲍坟一唱些凄凉.
忽闻昨日为鬼节, 忽忆人鬼何相隔?
阴阳往来成古今, 三生石上苦梦惊.
美眉不美看白眉, 长爪奇罕传妙音.
鼍鼓龙笛齐相奏, 众生陶陶几欲翩.
一轮明月出长秋, 月明溪半降娥仙.


都带着那么一种彻底的痛深入隐形的潜处
但让人读了有缭绕在心头的惊喜


呵呵，感谢伤城赠诗，收我博里了 Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Previous  [1]2[3]  Next Page 2 of 3           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME