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钟乳石
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 10:54:40    Post subject: 钟乳石 Reply with quote

钟乳石

深埋于土的, 是你
不愿吐露的心事
那些冰冷, 那些坎坷
我, 弃了真身
只为遁入
你不肯开启的门

轻轻地
触摸
一根根
逐渐愈合的
断骨
又一颗
泪水






远方
五千年前的
女子
还在啜泣
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 11:00:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

五千年前的
你还记得那张照片呢
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 11:03:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
五千年前的
你还记得那张照片呢


哪张照片 Confused
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 11:08:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
hepingdao wrote:
五千年前的
你还记得那张照片呢


哪张照片 Confused


5000年后,出土的两具骨架
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 11:16:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
hepingdao wrote:
五千年前的
你还记得那张照片呢


哪张照片 Confused


5000年后,出土的两具骨架


哦, 我写诗时还真没想起那照片.Embarassed

你没去过张家界? 那钟乳石一根根的...... 你没看我把诗歌拉的长长的, 就是为了有点象形 Very Happy
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 11:19:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

没去过,但我知道钟乳石,在其它地方见过
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 13:28:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

穿越时空,惊骇的触摸,灵魂似有惊悚!进入钟乳石,就进入了时光的缆车。好!此诗有种疼痛的美!!真能写啊。问候诗人。
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-24 23:09:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

看了海军的回复,我到不知道该说什么了~欣赏了,问好月光妹妹~
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 00:15:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗的形状就像

写得贴切,形象.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 02:12:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首确实不错。各个方面。
整体均衡不乏佳句,如,

我, 弃了真身
只为遁入
你不肯开启的门

真能写。
我呢,准备用 php (一种scriping 计算机语言) 写首诗 Very Happy
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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冷巉
举人


Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 1106
Location: 中国十堰
冷巉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 04:02:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习并问好。
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syr@shiyanren.com
冷巉 湖北省十堰市茅箭区三堰邮政小区48号信箱 442000
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 07:25:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
没去过,但我知道钟乳石,在其它地方见过


我倒忘了, 这是你的老本行. Wink
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 07:26:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
穿越时空,惊骇的触摸,灵魂似有惊悚!进入钟乳石,就进入了时光的缆车。好!此诗有种疼痛的美!!真能写啊。问候诗人。


谢谢理解.
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 07:27:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
看了海军的回复,我到不知道该说什么了~欣赏了,问好月光妹妹~


问好月亮 Smile
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 07:28:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

韩少君 wrote:
诗的形状就像

写得贴切,形象.


象吗? 谢谢少君 Very Happy
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 07:30:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
这首确实不错。各个方面。
整体均衡不乏佳句,如,

我, 弃了真身
只为遁入
你不肯开启的门

真能写。
我呢,准备用 php (一种scriping 计算机语言) 写首诗 Very Happy


等你大作. 可不要COMPUTER造诗噢 Wink
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-25 07:31:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

冷巉 wrote:
学习并问好。


问好冷巉. Very Happy
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