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七夕，花喜鹊还没养大
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 03:45:15    Post subject: 七夕，花喜鹊还没养大 Reply with quote

七夕，花喜鹊还没养大
　　文／半溪明月

黑色的情人洋节刚过
我就开始喂养花喜鹊
一场奇寒，六月也会飞雪
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的花蕾
太多的雷雨啊
银河的水爆涨，爆涨成
无边的海洋

把羽毛插遍全身
鼓动沉重的翅膀，大海之中
谁会为我亮起藏在暗处的灯塔
夜漆黑，风卷着波涛
我想寻找歇脚的孤岛
把夜熬到天明

对岸的人儿没过来
他的花喜鹊还没养大
２００７－８－１９
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 03:52:38    Post subject: Reply with quote
花喜鹊没养大——明月的构思真奇，佩服！ Razz
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 04:08:32    Post subject: Reply with quote
荷梦 wrote:
花喜鹊没养大——明月的构思真奇，佩服！ Razz


谢荷梦，诗歌上还是要多指点我哦～祝节日快乐！ Very Happy
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 04:30:17    Post subject: Reply with quote
欣赏!好诗歌好图画好愿望.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 04:57:57    Post subject: Reply with quote
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的尸体

海之央的灯塔
谁会为你点一盏明灯

感觉这两个地方还可改改Smile问好!
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 05:42:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
沙漠 wrote:
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的尸体

海之央的灯塔
谁会为你点一盏明灯

感觉这两个地方还可改改Smile问好!

问好沙漠，如何修改，帮我改改？先谢过～
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 05:57:26    Post subject: Reply with quote
沙漠 wrote:
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的尸体

海之央的灯塔
谁会为你点一盏明灯

感觉这两个地方还可改改Smile问好!


襁褓里夭亡着幼小的花蕾？

对岸的灯塔
你可会为我点一盏明灯 ？

这样修改行吗？
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 06:01:12    Post subject: Reply with quote
韩少君 wrote:
欣赏!好诗歌好图画好愿望.


呵呵，问好少君，有鬼的愿望～ Very Happy
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-20 20:35:56    Post subject: Reply with quote
半溪明月 wrote:
荷梦 wrote:
花喜鹊没养大——明月的构思真奇，佩服！ Razz


谢荷梦，诗歌上还是要多指点我哦～祝节日快乐！ Very Happy

明月这样说，荷梦就不敢当了，荷梦自己的诗歌都需要人指点呢！
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郭兴军
童生


Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 96
Location: 中国陕西
郭兴军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-21 02:15:45    Post subject: Reply with quote
他的花喜鹊还没养大，但偶的心儿已经大了，心思多多。欣赏
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胜者为王。
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-21 05:27:21    Post subject: Reply with quote
好！！让人触景生情
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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