半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 03:45:15 Post subject: 七夕,花喜鹊还没养大 |
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七夕,花喜鹊还没养大
文/半溪明月
黑色的情人洋节刚过
我就开始喂养花喜鹊
一场奇寒,六月也会飞雪
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的花蕾
太多的雷雨啊
银河的水爆涨,爆涨成
无边的海洋
把羽毛插遍全身
鼓动沉重的翅膀,大海之中
谁会为我亮起藏在暗处的灯塔
夜漆黑,风卷着波涛
我想寻找歇脚的孤岛
把夜熬到天明
对岸的人儿没过来
他的花喜鹊还没养大
2007-8-19 |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 03:52:38 Post subject: |
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花喜鹊没养大——明月的构思真奇,佩服!  |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 04:08:32 Post subject: |
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| 荷梦 wrote: |
花喜鹊没养大——明月的构思真奇,佩服!  |
谢荷梦,诗歌上还是要多指点我哦~祝节日快乐!
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韩少君 进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 2558 Location: 吉林四平 韩少君Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 04:30:17 Post subject: |
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欣赏!好诗歌好图画好愿望. _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
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沙漠 秀才
Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 977 Location: 中国温州 沙漠Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 04:57:57 Post subject: |
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襁褓里夭亡着幼小的尸体
海之央的灯塔
谁会为你点一盏明灯
感觉这两个地方还可改改 问好! _________________ 个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180 |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 05:42:29 Post subject: |
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| 沙漠 wrote: |
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的尸体
海之央的灯塔
谁会为你点一盏明灯
感觉这两个地方还可改改 问好! |
问好沙漠,如何修改,帮我改改?先谢过~ |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 05:57:26 Post subject: |
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| 沙漠 wrote: |
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的尸体
海之央的灯塔
谁会为你点一盏明灯
感觉这两个地方还可改改 问好! |
襁褓里夭亡着幼小的花蕾?
对岸的灯塔
你可会为我点一盏明灯 ?
这样修改行吗? |
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半溪明月 榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-19 06:01:12 Post subject: |
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呵呵,问好少君,有鬼的愿望~  |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-20 20:35:56 Post subject: |
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| 半溪明月 wrote: |
| 荷梦 wrote: |
花喜鹊没养大——明月的构思真奇,佩服!  |
谢荷梦,诗歌上还是要多指点我哦~祝节日快乐!
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明月这样说,荷梦就不敢当了,荷梦自己的诗歌都需要人指点呢! |
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郭兴军 童生
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 96 Location: 中国陕西 郭兴军Collection |
Posted: 2007-08-21 02:15:45 Post subject: |
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他的花喜鹊还没养大,但偶的心儿已经大了,心思多多。欣赏 _________________ 胜者为王。 |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
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