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春雨
童生


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 31
Location: 中国吉林
春雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-17 06:19:19    Post subject: 门 Reply with quote



聚精会神于前面的路线时

我被自上而来的冰雹砸个正着

这些得意的圆球们要把我冻僵



圈套包围着圈套

圈套的表情在用玫瑰上的刺表明另种真诚



现实让我拿不出直截了当的面容

因为对石头发怒时

脚在向我描绘什么是疼痛



为了保护自己就要去吐丝

而破茧成蝶前我最需要的却是正常的呼吸



看不见的病毒正以谣言的形式

包裹我的名字

那个具体的形象又往往被推搡到我的面前



想要运行的程序不能按设想出现

有些时候我不能去想障碍的模样



现在不写诗的诗人的演讲

音码调不到他理想的高度



蜘蛛网在灰暗中贴在我的脸上时

我应当首先想到那是原因和结果亲吻后的果实



雨后的森林被装进麻木的头皮

没有堤坝的河流在我的体内无序的冲撞



门的档次不论高低

它所能涉及的动作只不过就在推拉之间
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用一只笔犁过春天,写下我忧伤的诗行!!
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-17 15:30:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

门的档次不论高低

它所能涉及的动作只不过就在推拉之间

问好!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-18 17:50:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

门的切入不错,可圆润些.
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-18 20:53:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

哲理性很强,逻辑性很棒,思维转折不够
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春雨
童生


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 31
Location: 中国吉林
春雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-08-19 04:22:03    Post subject: 真诚感谢诸位挚友对我的支持和鼓励 Reply with quote

真诚感谢诸位挚友对我的支持和鼓励
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