[原创双语诗] 笼中鸟 the birds in birdcages

[William Zhou周道模]

此诗先汉语后英语，请不吝指教
The Birds in Birdcages
by William Zhou

The birds made single in one cage by men
Call for their love in the sheltered windows

Sang bamboo forests’ praises before
They're encaged in bamboo cages now

Not feeling free, they jump and swoop
Run into cages with grief and indignation

Not all of them in the cages should Fast, if any
Heroes’ corpses would be all over the ground

Peck and rip, feathers falling and toes injured
Blood drops in cages, people enjoy them outside

A birdcage of citizens
Need be wakened by a cage of warbles


笼中鸟
周道模

人为的单身
防护栏里呼唤爱情

从前歌唱竹林
而今被竹笼囚禁

不自由 就跳 就扑
就碰撞一腔 悲愤

不能都绝食 那样
遍地都是英雄的尸体

撕扯啄斗 羽落趾伤
笼中血滴 笼外人喜

一笼城市
要一笼鸟声叫醒

2005年5月作
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[戴玨]

像是說很多隻鳥，所以第一句可用復數，也可以和那single做對比：
The birds made single by men
Call for love from sheltered windows
men-made做定語給人感覺是說這些是人造的假鳥。
“从前歌唱竹林
而今被竹笼囚禁 ”
They used to sing the praises of bamboo woods
But are now imprisoned in bamboo cages
“不自由 就跳 就扑
就碰撞一腔 悲愤 ”
Not feeling free, they jump, swoop
And jolt the grief and indigation in their chests
“不能都绝食 那样
遍地都是英雄的尸体 ”
Not all of them should go on hunger strike, otherwise
Heroes’ corpses would be all over the ground
...
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I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄

[William Zhou周道模]

部分采纳了戴先生的意见，致谢了！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[kokho]

拜读 ：）

。。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[William Zhou周道模]

我又作了一些修改。我对两钟语言表达的差异有了更多的体验和感受。如果戴先生觉得拙诗有翻译的价值，你可翻出来交刊物发表。你肯定翻得比我好，对我来讲，汉翻英还在摸索、学习的过程中。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模