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女儿的两首，还请朋友们看看

惠建宁
童生

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 21
Location: 中国陕西省榆林市
惠建宁Collection

Posted: 2006-05-28 07:11:02 Post subject: 女儿的两首，还请朋友们看看

你的眼，你的脸我不再熟悉趁着一切埋怨，一切欣喜还没有完全消逝的时候我轻轻地走到你的窗前低身嗅一朵小小的花一朵似乎就要开放却依然打着花蕾的小生命用生动的口吻讲述故事一切美好的感触如清幽幽地飘上天空的云彩俯视洒满阳光的村落我闭着眼睛幻想一路走来看到的风景却又不得不叹息你的眼，你的脸我不再熟悉 2006.3.20 真的天堂五月的天空下着雨河水里悄悄地渗进了谁的泪透过世界变化莫测的多棱镜我看到对岸朦胧的柳树就连小鸟儿叽喳的叫声也随着变得渺远仿佛纵身跃进了一个陌生的国度只是心底有种强烈的欲望召唤我或许这才是真的天堂 2006.5.5 （惠诗钦，女，719000-陕西省榆林市第一中学高一八班，ylhjn@126.com） _________________ 719000-陕西省榆林市胜利中巷3号，ylhjn@126.com

雪泥
秀才

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 255
Location: 西欧
雪泥Collection

Posted: 2006-05-28 07:32:17 Post subject:

读你女儿的诗总是带着一点寒意，所以我不想去读，因为来自一个小女孩，这样的心态不大好。 _________________ 《梅园文学》总编欢迎各种体裁的投稿雪泥博客： http://xueniwriting.blog.sohu.com/

南方寒阳
童生

Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 24

南方寒阳Collection

Posted: 2006-05-28 19:12:56 Post subject:

第一首结尾很不错：））提一下！

尹士林
秀才

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 416
Location: 河北保定易县中学
尹士林Collection

Posted: 2006-05-29 05:12:23 Post subject: 天才的诞生

又一个诗歌界的天才诞生了。 _________________ 忧郁过、犹豫过，从未放弃过！！！！！河北易县中学尹士林

卢君
童生

Joined: 27 May 2006
Posts: 17
Location: 中国·广东·东莞
卢君Collection

Posted: 2006-05-29 14:34:20 Post subject:

看到了她的内心流动情感与智慧，为你有这样的女儿感到欣慰！问兄及女儿好！ _________________ 呼吸着，奔跑着，思考着我来了，我看见，我说出 ———————————— 卢君的博客•大家来做客 ———————————— lujunfeng.blog.sohu.com

惠建宁
童生

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 21
Location: 中国陕西省榆林市
惠建宁Collection

Posted: 2006-05-30 06:35:07 Post subject:

雪泥 wrote:

读你女儿的诗总是带着一点寒意，所以我不想去读，因为来自一个小女孩，
这样的心态不大好。

各人有各人的想法和需要表达的东西，这些最好不强求。问好雪泥朋友！
_________________
719000-陕西省榆林市胜利中巷3号，ylhjn@126.com

惠建宁
童生

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 21
Location: 中国陕西省榆林市
惠建宁Collection

Posted: 2006-05-30 06:35:58 Post subject:

南方寒阳 wrote:

第一首结尾很不错：））提一下！

多谢朋友对孩子的关注和鼓励。问好！
_________________
719000-陕西省榆林市胜利中巷3号，ylhjn@126.com

惠建宁
童生

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 21
Location: 中国陕西省榆林市
惠建宁Collection

Posted: 2006-05-30 06:36:53 Post subject: Re: 天才的诞生

尹士林 wrote:

又一个诗歌界的天才诞生了。

夸张了，但我还是谢谢你对孩子的鼓励。问好朋友！
_________________
719000-陕西省榆林市胜利中巷3号，ylhjn@126.com

惠建宁
童生

Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 21
Location: 中国陕西省榆林市
惠建宁Collection

Posted: 2006-05-30 06:37:47 Post subject:

卢君 wrote:

看到了她的内心流动情感与智慧，为你有这样的女儿感到欣慰！问兄及女儿好！

谢关注，还望多多指点。问好朋友！
_________________
719000-陕西省榆林市胜利中巷3号，ylhjn@126.com

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