Maple Review :: View topic - 幻想有片绿地

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

幻想有片绿地

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荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-07-24 01:15:22 Post subject: 幻想有片绿地

1 你在那里,以什么姿势这,无关紧要重要的是:有油油的绿把你的笑,开绽成花 2 那些草，那些花径自，跨过季节草着它们的草，花着它们的花而你,正你着你的你 2007-07-23

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-07-24 03:43:34 Post subject:

而你,正你着你的你

游向高原的鱼
秀才

Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 382

游向高原的鱼Collection

Posted: 2007-07-24 04:11:17 Post subject:

你的你紧张地捧着颤抖的灵魂让你的目光穿过如透视的时候赤裸得淋漓着爱的回忆 _________________ 人生乃是一面镜子，在其中认识自己。

韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-07-26 14:27:26 Post subject:

夜晚你要看护好熟睡的草地它正梦见你 _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

杨海军
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Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-07-27 02:33:15 Post subject:

好诗！！！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 02:19:54 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

而你,正你着
你的
你
Very Happy

——呵呵，一种幻想而已，身在尘世，谁能真正地完全地做着自己呢？

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 02:22:05 Post subject:

游向高原的鱼 wrote:

你的你
紧张地捧着颤抖的灵魂
让你的目光
穿过

如透视的时候
赤裸得
淋漓着
爱
的
回
忆

——你演绎出了另一种情感呢，呵呵！
问好！

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 02:24:02 Post subject:

韩少君 wrote:

夜晚
你要看护好
熟睡的草地
它正梦见你

——“熟睡的草地它正梦见你”这句子我挺喜欢的。谢谢，问好！

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 02:24:40 Post subject:

杨海军 wrote:

好诗！！！

谢谢鼓励！

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-07-28 07:46:22 Post subject:

如透视的时候赤裸得淋漓着爱的回忆有创新~问好荷梦!

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-08-02 19:52:30 Post subject:

绿是希望的颜色。1写的是绿地中的快乐与幸福“把你的笑,开绽成花 ”。2 写的是绿地中的自由，“你着你的你 ”做着自由的自己。我想每个人心中都有着对那片能给自己以快乐、幸福以及自由的希望之地的向往吧！呵呵，游向高原的鱼的句子是完全不同的演绎。问好明月！

溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2007-08-02 20:13:40 Post subject:

草着它们的草，花着它们的花 _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-08-02 22:58:42 Post subject:

你的诗歌越来越好了：））。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-08-04 23:57:50 Post subject:

谢溪语评阅！谢KOKHO鼓励！

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-08-05 00:25:27 Post subject:

很独特，很后现代的诗歌　；）才女　出手就不是凡响。。。。 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

金金
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-08-05 19:41:32 Post subject:

草着它们的草，花着它们的花真是活泼可爱的诗！ _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-08-09 23:20:13 Post subject:

谢谢关注！

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-08-10 00:03:49 Post subject:

金金 wrote:

草着它们的草，花着它们的花

真是活泼可爱的诗！

这个评语写得好：）
。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

新华
秀才

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 225

新华Collection

Posted: 2007-08-10 18:35:01 Post subject:

径自，跨过季节草着它们的草，花着它们的花而你,正你着你的你生动有趣，问好。

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2007-08-13 17:27:32 Post subject:

谢谢这么细致地读拙作！

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