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母亲的咳嗽1[2]  Next
杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-21 17:46:34    Post subject: 母亲的咳嗽 Reply with quote

母亲的咳嗽


多少年

我的黑夜被从中间折断

我看见月光哭红了眼睛

地上洒满了梦的碎玻璃

我听见母亲突然坐起的咳嗽

艰难得像村外那条不好走的乡路

更像父亲那把破铁锯

锯着我灵魂悲悯的木板



我流了太多太多的血

我的乡愁因失血而日渐苍白

我的爱恨和泪水

被咳嗽纷乱的石块击成薄薄的一张纸

让大风吹到村口那棵老榆树上



多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼

我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的江面
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-21 19:02:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

依然好诗,喜欢!
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踏过废墟,走来
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-21 21:55:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-21 23:43:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

我听见母亲突然坐起的咳嗽

艰难得像村外那条不好走的乡路


我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的湖面

好多佳句,欣赏学习了~问好海军!
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 14:36:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

阿依琼裙 wrote:
依然好诗,喜欢!


谢小米妹妹的赏读。感谢支持!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 14:37:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

溪语 wrote:
多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼


感谢溪语诗人!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-22 14:38:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
我听见母亲突然坐起的咳嗽

艰难得像村外那条不好走的乡路


我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的湖面

好多佳句,欣赏学习了~问好海军!


谢诗人的好评。远握!!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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孙继廷
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Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 115
Location: 吉林四平
孙继廷Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 02:53:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼

我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的江面

好诗!!问候海军。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2007-07-23 16:05:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

感人之作. 建议加精
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陈若祥
秀才


Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 20:41:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

深沉的情感,
形象的比喻,
让人想起很多.
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¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-24 02:12:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼

我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的江面


佳句!难得!请加精!
_________________
靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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游向高原的鱼
秀才


Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 382

游向高原的鱼Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-24 04:26:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

我听见母亲突然坐起的咳嗽

艰难得像村外那条不好走的乡路

更像父亲那把破铁锯

锯着我灵魂悲悯的木板


生动形象,学习!
_________________
人生乃是一面镜子,在其中认识自己。
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一地雪
童生


Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 38

一地雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-24 17:18:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

韩少君 wrote:
多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼

我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的江面


佳句!难得!请加精!


同感!!
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十个数字一笔债

我的博客:http://blog.sina.com.cn/yidixue
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仨石子
童生


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 35

仨石子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-24 17:50:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

我的乡愁因失血而日渐苍白

这样的诗写起来有力度
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里面有点自己的东西 http://blog.sina.com.cn/sashizi
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 03:34:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢继廷兄!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 05:02:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
感人之作. 建议加精


谢谢白水诗人!!!祝诗人快乐!!远握!! Smile
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 05:06:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

陈若祥 wrote:
深沉的情感,
形象的比喻,
让人想起很多.

谢若祥诗人!!呵呵,祝好!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 05:08:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

韩少君 wrote:
多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼

我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的江面


佳句!难得!请加精!

谢少君!!!!祝快乐。
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 05:09:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

游向高原的鱼 wrote:
我听见母亲突然坐起的咳嗽

艰难得像村外那条不好走的乡路

更像父亲那把破铁锯

锯着我灵魂悲悯的木板


生动形象,学习!

谢诗人阅读,多交流!握!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 05:11:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

一地雪 wrote:
韩少君 wrote:
多少年

我倾听母亲这异样的波涛

像一条缺氧的鱼

我的沉睡是一盏渔火

微弱的光芒

照着满脸病容的江面


佳句!难得!请加精!


同感!!

谢一地雪诗人!!握!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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