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《有一种拆卸叫女人》(诗歌)
低处的迷雾
秀才


Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 104
Location: 六朝残梦
低处的迷雾Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 15:29:35    Post subject: 《有一种拆卸叫女人》(诗歌) Reply with quote

原创《有一种拆卸叫女人》(诗歌)

文低处的迷雾

你受伤的部分
灿烂而孤僻
含泪的声响闪现的峭壁
需要疼爱

狼嚎埋葬了柔弱无骨的春天
你多麽宽容
点燃遗世的荡漾
在诗歌里拆卸自己
窈窕的大地
让我脱下肮脏的刀芒
让我忘了不问故乡的垃圾

毒蜘蛛破散
离异的身心在野葡萄藤里相逢
湍急的骨血
吸进桃花盛开的大海
完美的起伏卸去出名的忧伤

被黑暗磨过的血压
陷进没有人性的水草里
六神无主
奄奄一息是我无法省下的影子
它了无心机 不省人事
再也用不着那样了
你用孩子一样的哭泣说出
你爱 你懂得

我不想掩饰
我没长眼睛
水性扬花了二百年的破烂儿
甜腻的我心惊肉跳
没命地长出狐媚的峡谷和叶子
我多麽羞愧
伤害了你的芳香

在深陷的节拍里
掀动天堂的倒影
在碎金子流过的芒上露出自己的
江湖和露水
翻滚的芬芳密藏着哪儿的旭日东升
黑灯瞎火的悬念被芳髓张开的艳土洇出
鲜艳的深渊

而我凹陷成漆黑的午夜
给你丢脸
我还着迷于风吹草动
与眼泪汪汪的破庙并排飘摇
我还好意思说
我也是个女人
爱哭
爱着重病的人间
_________________
写诗就是灵魂在私奔。那些风中的道路,我一一痛过的伤口,已被跋涉的脚步止住了腥酸。博客:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1236291191
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-23 15:48:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

勇敢的审视自己, 勇敢的审视社会
问好诗人
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沙漠
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Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 01:24:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

有些词句比较华丽.
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 14:46:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

对低处的迷雾有特别的关注。建议大家看看她以前的帖子,有些更好。
她的东西,让人感受到属世的大悲痛。
用词用意,大开大合,无拘无束,又较为自如流畅且浑然。
咱们坛子里很多人都写得很好,但印象最深的,就是她了。因为不觉得她在写诗,只觉得大量确切存在的苦痛,把诗鼓满并撑破了。经常是看了就担心,她还行吧?
虽然,我本人更加有属灵的关注,认为这属世的大悲喜,都不那么大。但毕竟是人。而且,绝大部分人在描述属世的感受。那么,她的东西,往往让麻木也受震。
对了,昨天想到:不快乐,也可以是很好的人生。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 19:15:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

原来在别的地方读过她的诗,感觉她的诗确如nobody所言“用词用意,大开大合,无拘无束,又较为自如流畅且浑然。”呵呵,作为学诗者,我觉着着不好学,因为这跟本不是学得来的。不过,这一首诗,风格却有些微的改变呢!
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溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-25 19:25:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

个性的语言,睿智的表达。问好诗人!!
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-26 14:09:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

历险的语言.拜读.
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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