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演唱会
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-01 03:15:01    Post subject: 演唱会 Reply with quote
演唱会


在后排散座看着第一排中央的长者
正襟危坐地像一座山
那么的死板
那么的接受镁光灯

我年轻顽皮的心
悠游在头后，我知道另一个我
正看着我
那是我的十七岁，牵着碎语

歌手在台上比赛
他们完全不知道在一首歌里
我又活了一遍
直到我整整衣领，站起来颁奖—

他找回到我的体内
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（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-01 03:33:41    Post subject: Reply with quote
浅出却不乏内涵, 持重而透着活力, 理性而不乏诗意.
分寸把握很到位. 建议加精.
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-01 07:13:47    Post subject: Reply with quote
这是记载昨天的心情。
想起高中毕业晚会我窝在后头
看着‘领导’的后脑勺在闪光灯下形成黑逗点。

而今，座位往前移，我也自然老成持重了。这一晃，
想起人生game over的事，手里没几个quarters了。
没事的话，看看 kara24h.com. 说的是那个现场比赛。

Laughing
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（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-07-01 22:30:54    Post subject: Reply with quote
喜欢 那个结尾 ！！！

。。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-02 09:01:53    Post subject: Reply with quote
学习这样的写法~
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kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-07-02 17:18:54    Post subject: Reply with quote
比赛来得好突然，摸不着头脑。
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野航
秀才


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 547
Location: toronto
野航Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-04 17:07:07    Post subject: Reply with quote
看来这是博弈兄最不“实验“的一首诗，提起来。
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回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统
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