Maple Review :: View topic - 对一场雨的描述

	Chinese Literature Society of North America \| Maple Review \| Immigrants in Canada \| Angel Studio \| The Driftwood Artist Society \| Ocean of Poetry \| Island of Music "HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
	FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Sign in Blogs Weblogs News Album



Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

对一场雨的描述

刘华明
童生

Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 75

刘华明Collection

Posted: 2007-06-27 22:54:25 Post subject: 对一场雨的描述

沿着乌云的阶梯你会走进一座火把的庄园那里有匹匹烈马在千重沟壑奔突、嘶鸣有条条灼热的鞭子抽打时空的伤痕那无际的、灰色的、时而浮出刺眼的徽记的网正将满天星斗一网打尽只留下风在饮泣、嚎啕、摔打被涂黑的破碎的瓷器我不是操刀手那棵柳树的夭折与我无关那是雷鸣在钻木取火是用生命完成的一次虔诚的礼拜雨水乘着乌云的班车而来持有入乡的通行证、外省的温度和口音在屋檐下聚首、离散像一粒粒埋进大地头骨的种子等待着阳光的传票

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-06-28 12:12:03 Post subject:

很形象

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-06-28 17:04:15 Post subject:

不错的诗。只是首节“有条条灼热的鞭子抽打时空的伤痕”有些不顺畅。抽打伤痕？还是被抽打出伤痕？个人浅见！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

Display posts from previous:

Emoticons





View more Emoticons

Page 1 of 1 View previous topic View next topic

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME