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石榴花
黑雨滴
秀才


Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 144

黑雨滴Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-26 19:18:35    Post subject: 石榴花 Reply with quote

年老的外祖母,戴着黑边的老花镜
用颤抖的南瓜皮一样的警惕
剪一枝石榴花,火红的石榴花
展开生命的细节,躲闪着
她苍老的手指

石榴花是一个多情的女人,小脚而美丽
她年轻时走过的那条石板路
一直被踩得脆响,无数的眼睛在身后嘶叫
她心里咚咚地跳,那些野马让她恐惧
如同恐惧五月的潮水,也许
有一双眸子是让她喜欢的,可是
她始终没有回过头

剪刀一开一合,空心的它
感觉不到外祖母心跳的温度
许多年来,它游走在外祖母的岁月里
越发铮亮,越发冰凉
它很想做外祖母的情人,摸一摸那花白的头发
然而,它却微笑着
躺在寂寞的针线篓里
等着被一双枯瘦的手指唤醒
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-06-26 22:27:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

剪刀一开一合,空心的它
感觉不到外祖母心跳的温度
许多年来,它游走在外祖母的岁月里
越发铮亮,越发冰凉
它很想做外祖母的情人,摸一摸那花白的头发
然而,它却微笑着
躺在寂寞的针线篓里
等着被一双枯瘦的手指唤醒

学习了~
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-07-01 14:45:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

感觉不错。写得也不错。稍显散点。

灵感光临很不易,好好款待她——
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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