杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
Posted: 2007-06-08 01:07:45 Post subject: |
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ZY wrote: |
奇异的跳跃,有荒谬剧的感觉.其实,除去惊奇,也可以从深沉的角度去读.
一个小小的建议,第一人称的两句话:"令我啼笑皆非的是 "和"小伊,你是不是疯了......",或许并不需要说出来.也就是说,由读者去反应.浅见了,包涵.
问好. |
嗯,是得考虑一下。谢兄台提出宝贵建议!!祝 好!! _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751 |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
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周平庸 童生
Joined: 08 Jun 2007 Posts: 10
周平庸Collection |
Posted: 2007-06-08 20:15:11 Post subject: |
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这个好 |
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黑牙 童生
Joined: 03 Jun 2007 Posts: 54
黑牙Collection |
Posted: 2007-06-09 06:05:49 Post subject: |
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小伊,你是不是疯了......
我觉得这完全可能````` _________________ 有一个位置,我从来都没有找到。 |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
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杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
Posted: 2007-06-11 17:25:23 Post subject: |
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黑牙 wrote: |
小伊,你是不是疯了......
我觉得这完全可能````` |
谢黑牙诗人赏读,多交流!! _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751 |
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黑雨滴 秀才
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 144
黑雨滴Collection |
Posted: 2007-06-12 00:28:37 Post subject: |
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向小伊问好,向诗人也问好啦 _________________ 个人主页:http://blog.sina.com.cn/afirewang |
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