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月亮湾(二首)
xctianbin
秀才


Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 105

xctianbinCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-20 22:31:09    Post subject: 月亮湾(二首) Reply with quote

月亮湾(二首)

田 斌

那晚 我们小住的皖南山村
有一个好诗意的名字 月亮湾
竹筏刚刚收起
笑声还跌落在河里

我一定是有一些牵挂
是否想着那位怨愁的姑娘
夜半 我坐在小河边
看水中湿漉漉的月亮
疑是出沐的姑娘
目光 凝满我的非份之想

我愿这样长梦不醒
在月亮湾的记忆里
出落一位结着怨愁的姑娘



春 晨

太阳从大海中缓缓出浴
睡眼惺松
像依恋昨夜谁的体香

小院中桃花对镜临妆
那粉红的笑靥
煞是惹人怜爱
忍不住 我用手兜了一下

天空中飘飞的白云
像是谁的裙纱
我用目光 挑了一下

春天 人要学会检点
出门前 我整了整衣冠
定了定神





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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-20 22:33:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首诗不错,蕴含深一些。好诗都是给作者非常大的想像空间的。。和朋友们多交流自会提 高。祝诗人愉快!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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陈若祥
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Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-21 00:25:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

<月亮湾>清新,自然!
_________________
¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-22 01:06:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

意象轻灵,语言张力,自然完整!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-22 02:17:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

田斌的这两首好于以前的。



春天 人要学会检点
出门前 我整了整衣冠
定了定神

可谓经典之句。赞赏!
_________________
靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-23 06:53:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵,更喜欢第一首,借物喻人~问好田斌老师!
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