勿妄言
秀才
Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 236
Location: 四川 德阳
勿妄言Collection |
 Posted: 2007-05-18 18:46:01 Post subject: [原创]无题 |
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无题
遥叩相思静池搅
急踏征程忘春好
感君此生情浓意
何惧前村路迢迢
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一只秋天里的风铃，尽情的感受风的吹拂。摇曳中，让风有了色彩，有了声音，更有了自己的形象； |
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暗香如沁
秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection |
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晓松
举人
Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192
晓松Collection |
| Posted: 2007-05-19 20:23:37 Post subject: |
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勿妄言朋友，你的诗又向前进了一步，现在押韵已经对了，就是韵的平仄有待提高。
祝贺！ |
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kokho
进士出身
Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection |
| Posted: 2007-05-20 09:37:33 Post subject: |
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拜读 问好朋友。。。
 
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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勿妄言
秀才
Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 236
Location: 四川 德阳
勿妄言Collection |
| Posted: 2007-06-03 07:57:30 Post subject: |
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| 晓松 wrote: |
勿妄言朋友，你的诗又向前进了一步，现在押韵已经对了，就是韵的平仄有待提高。
祝贺！ |
谢晓松老师指点.努力中…
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一只秋天里的风铃，尽情的感受风的吹拂。摇曳中，让风有了色彩，有了声音，更有了自己的形象； |
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