勿妄言 秀才

Joined: 17 Apr 2007 Posts: 236 Location: 四川 德阳 勿妄言Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-18 18:46:01 Post subject: [原创]无题 |
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无题
遥叩相思静池搅
急踏征程忘春好
感君此生情浓意
何惧前村路迢迢 _________________ 一只秋天里的风铃,尽情的感受风的吹拂。摇曳中,让风有了色彩,有了声音,更有了自己的形象; |
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暗香如沁 秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Posts: 885 Location: 北京 暗香如沁Collection |
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晓松 举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1192
晓松Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-19 20:23:37 Post subject: |
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勿妄言朋友,你的诗又向前进了一步,现在押韵已经对了,就是韵的平仄有待提高。
祝贺! |
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kokho 进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006 Posts: 2642 Location: Singapore kokhoCollection |
Posted: 2007-05-20 09:37:33 Post subject: |
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拜读 问好朋友。。。
 _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌 |
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勿妄言 秀才

Joined: 17 Apr 2007 Posts: 236 Location: 四川 德阳 勿妄言Collection |
Posted: 2007-06-03 07:57:30 Post subject: |
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晓松 wrote: |
勿妄言朋友,你的诗又向前进了一步,现在押韵已经对了,就是韵的平仄有待提高。
祝贺! |
谢晓松老师指点.努力中… _________________ 一只秋天里的风铃,尽情的感受风的吹拂。摇曳中,让风有了色彩,有了声音,更有了自己的形象; |
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