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小雀等六个,请批评.
桔子
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 21:07:24    Post subject: 小雀等六个,请批评. Reply with quote

远方

我开始意淫:梅花,她,项圈
许多年,小镇的灯光忽明忽暗
我攥紧几个字,贴近胸口
走进去,走出来

漫天的想象,比雪花还轻
如果落在手心,它要化开
我不确定这是谁的泪水

现在,我离躯体更远了
就像初恋
一切既陌生又新奇

罪案

黑夜登上了屋顶
他大声说:白日做梦的人快点醒来

小火柴死了,不见光亮
他的话像一群乌鸦
落在梦中人的屋檐下

月亮,它的圈套有些羞涩
露出朦胧的血丝,一个虚掩的证据

死去的终归死去吧
不需复活

大鸟

他从几百里外赶来
降落在市中心广场
深灰色的羽毛将身子裹紧
摆出饥饿的姿势

他开始向密集的楼群方向走动
许多窗子里燃烧着麦粒
他逐渐缩小成一只胃
蠕动着,从视线中消失

小雀

它习惯弄醒一粒米粒
再去啄另一粒米粒

这引起她的注意,她走路很轻
似乎捂住陈旧的咳嗽
但依然能感到她内心的震颤

那时,它愉快地起飞了
掠过她的眉梢
秀气的样子

◎修理指甲的影子

那人不停地在房间走动
影子坐下来,修剪月光的指甲

小剪刀“咔咔”作响,蜜脂轻轻流淌
“请耐心些,要尽量保持原有的光滑”

对面杯子里的水声渐渐长高
步子愈发匀称,像一匹睡醒的麋鹿
“这样不错,没有疼痛的感觉”

多好啊,他们默契地活着
令这个安静的夜晚密不透风

◎白马

黎明来临之前
我的梦境变得浅薄

许多白光掉下来
顷刻间聚集在一起

白马啊,白马,这个调皮的天使
用蹄子敲击绣花枕

影子碎了一地,我默默忍受着病斑的折磨
饥渴地嘶鸣,在草原上裸奔

短暂的一刻钟,我的欲望竟止不住地
湿掉了大片大片的温床
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 21:31:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵性十足
给我许多小惊喜
很有潜质的诗歌

欢迎桔子
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-16 22:10:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言跳跃,意象转换不留痕迹。真的不错!多来发帖和回帖,多来和文友交流!!祝好!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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冷水
童生


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 53

冷水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 06:09:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

我在思考直觉与经验的关系.是降低一个,还是两个高度统一

问好楼上三位
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越来越蠢
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桔子
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 13:29:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
灵性十足
给我许多小惊喜
很有潜质的诗歌

欢迎桔子

谢谢您的鼓励 Embarassed .多批评哦.
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桔子
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 13:31:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨海军 wrote:
语言跳跃,意象转换不留痕迹。真的不错!多来发帖和回帖,多来和文友交流!!祝好!!

问好海军 Smile谢谢鼓励 .我喜欢这里.北美枫很美.
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 13:32:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

方丈意淫是罪恶
诗人意淫是崇高

super man
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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桔子
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 13:33:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

冷水 wrote:
我在思考直觉与经验的关系.是降低一个,还是两个高度统一

问好楼上三位

问好冷水.
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桔子
秀才


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 214

桔子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 13:35:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

我开始意淫.. Laughing 早晨好!
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-17 14:16:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

桔子 wrote:
我开始意淫.. Laughing 早晨好!


意淫就是想象力
Laughing
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