子花 秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 722
子花Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-15 21:10:44 Post subject: 小诗歌一个《枫叶》 |
|
|
《枫叶》
这个季节我不该想起它的
深红的落叶铺满长椅
染尽秋色的小舟 迟迟走进黄昏
划开的夕阳
在一次长长的凝视中愈合
我该坐下
坐下来享受树阴的清凉
抛开陈旧的色彩
可那小舟荡漾的声音
越来越近
闭上眼
黄昏泼红了枫叶 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
hepingdao Site Admin
Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2007-05-15 21:15:34 Post subject: |
|
|
一种远远近近近近远远清晰模糊模糊清晰的画面
美
划开的夕阳
在一次长长的凝视中愈合
做为小诗,应该可以了 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
杨海军 进士出身
Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 2205 Location: 吉林 杨海军Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-15 22:21:05 Post subject: |
|
|
开头自然,语言凝炼,想像绮丽。诗虽短小,但蕴味足,想象空间大!!学习了。 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
韩少君 进士出身
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 2558 Location: 吉林四平 韩少君Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-16 01:13:17 Post subject: |
|
|
说-----枫叶泼红了黄昏.也可. _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
子花 秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 722
子花Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-16 06:39:11 Post subject: |
|
|
韩少君 wrote: |
说-----枫叶泼红了黄昏.也可. |
多批评!!!
很感谢几位诗人的关怀!问好!! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
hepingdao Site Admin
Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
Posted: 2007-05-16 06:42:11 Post subject: |
|
|
我看诗人都在寻找苦难呀
_________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
阿依琼裙 秀才
Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 920 Location: 废墟之上 阿依琼裙Collection |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
子花 秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 722
子花Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-16 20:06:14 Post subject: |
|
|
hepingdao wrote: |
我看诗人都在寻找苦难呀
|
hepingdao兄弟,叫我诗人,我 至极,望多批评!!感谢 |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
子花 秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 722
子花Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-16 20:08:16 Post subject: |
|
|
问好阿依琼裙~~~多谢朋友阅读! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
品玉 秀才
Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 156 Location: 吉林 品玉Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-17 02:38:48 Post subject: |
|
|
一片远山的叶子,荡起一波秋水. _________________ 孤独的执烛者,在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口~~~~~ |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
子花 秀才
Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 722
子花Collection |
Posted: 2007-05-18 02:13:54 Post subject: |
|
|
品玉 wrote: |
一片远山的叶子,荡起一波秋水. |
感谢品玉诗人阅读!!多指教! |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|