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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

小诗歌一个《枫叶》

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-05-15 21:10:44 Post subject: 小诗歌一个《枫叶》

《枫叶》这个季节我不该想起它的深红的落叶铺满长椅染尽秋色的小舟迟迟走进黄昏划开的夕阳在一次长长的凝视中愈合我该坐下坐下来享受树阴的清凉抛开陈旧的色彩可那小舟荡漾的声音越来越近闭上眼黄昏泼红了枫叶

hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-05-15 21:15:34 Post subject:

一种远远近近近近远远清晰模糊模糊清晰的画面美划开的夕阳在一次长长的凝视中愈合做为小诗，应该可以了 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

杨海军
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Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-05-15 22:21:05 Post subject:

开头自然，语言凝炼，想像绮丽。诗虽短小，但蕴味足，想象空间大！！学习了。 _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-05-16 01:13:17 Post subject:

说-----枫叶泼红了黄昏.也可. _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-05-16 06:39:11 Post subject:

韩少君 wrote:

说-----枫叶泼红了黄昏.也可.

多批评！！！
很感谢几位诗人的关怀！问好！！

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-05-16 06:42:11 Post subject:

我看诗人都在寻找苦难呀 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2007-05-16 07:15:00 Post subject:

想像的飞扬~ _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-05-16 20:06:14 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

我看诗人都在寻找苦难呀
Very Happy

hepingdao兄弟，叫我诗人，我 Embarassed

至极，望多批评！！感谢

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-05-16 20:08:16 Post subject:

阿依琼裙 wrote:

想像的飞扬~

问好阿依琼裙～～～多谢朋友阅读！

品玉
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Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection

Posted: 2007-05-17 02:38:48 Post subject:

一片远山的叶子,荡起一波秋水. _________________ 孤独的执烛者，在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口～～～～～

子花
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Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 722

子花Collection

Posted: 2007-05-18 02:13:54 Post subject:

品玉 wrote:

一片远山的叶子,荡起一波秋水.

感谢品玉诗人阅读！！多指教！

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