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单等风来吹
半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-09 21:51:18    Post subject: 单等风来吹 Reply with quote
单等风来吹

文/半溪明月

灰白的天空，鸟低低地飞
凭依窗口我对镜忧伤
不为别的，因那轻风
晃来荡去，奏不响琴簧

五月的石榴花掌起红灯笼
风从枝头上吹旺，消失了踪影
细腰的蜂被灼伤逃亡
遥远的大水边独自疗伤

每日里活在空虚
精心筑构的大厦轰然倒塌
只把那奄奄灯笼吹熄
咬紧细密的牙，沉默

2007-5-10
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江晨
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
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Location: 中国浙江
江晨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-09 21:58:43    Post subject: Reply with quote
风吹来了
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中国龙泉剑瓷文化网:http://www.lqjcwh.com/ 我的博客网址： http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1246181482 http://aaabc888.bokee.com/ 我的创作室网址：http://www.zjlm.net/web/web_article.asp?wid=214
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-09 22:02:01    Post subject: Reply with quote
问候半溪明月！！
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-10 07:06:27    Post subject: Reply with quote
问候海军和江晨~ Very Happy
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-10 13:24:19    Post subject: Reply with quote
好题目。似乎没太写好。一时说不清。但情绪很好，能否用点新意象。个见。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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沙漠
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Joined: 26 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-10 21:28:16    Post subject: Reply with quote
灰白的天空，鸟低低地飞
凭依窗口我对镜忧伤
那轻风晃来荡去，奏不响琴簧——第一节我喜欢这样：）

后面两节在语言上可以再自然些。问好半溪明月！
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溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-11 00:26:53    Post subject: Reply with quote
问好!
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-11 19:14:18    Post subject: Reply with quote
明月你好：我的博客还未整理，东西还没帖。我不太会管理。我不能临屏写作，得先在纸上写，然后打上去。地址：少君君临天下。信箱：shaojun1963@163.com欢迎交流。再见。颂琪。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 03:33:05    Post subject: Reply with quote
韩少君 wrote:
好题目。似乎没太写好。一时说不清。但情绪很好，能否用点新意象。个见。

恩，我也觉得后两段意象陈旧,谢谢指点~问好少君!
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 03:38:25    Post subject: Reply with quote
溪语 wrote:
问好!

也问好溪语,欢迎多批~ Very Happy
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 03:42:22    Post subject: Reply with quote
韩少君 wrote:
明月你好：我的博客还未整理，东西还没帖。我不太会管理。我不能临屏写作，得先在纸上写，然后打上去。地址：少君君临天下。信箱：shaojun1963@163.com欢迎交流。再见。颂琪。

谢谢少君给我提供信箱,我的邮箱:wuxuhong_dsc@126.com
http://blog.sina.com.cn/wuxuhong,欢迎来我小屋坐坐,给你上茶~
也欢迎广大诗友光临!
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-13 03:56:25    Post subject: Reply with quote
＂五月的石榴花掌起红灯笼 ＂以乐景写哀情，不错！
清代王夫之在《姜斋诗话》中说：“以乐景写哀，以哀景写乐，一倍增其哀乐。”
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¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-13 04:09:59    Post subject: Reply with quote
陈若祥 wrote:
＂五月的石榴花掌起红灯笼 ＂以乐景写哀情，不错！
清代王夫之在《姜斋诗话》中说：“以乐景写哀，以哀景写乐，一倍增其哀乐。”

问好若祥,石榴花到底好不好，我自己都糊涂了 Very Happy
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-13 04:44:25    Post subject: Reply with quote
半溪明月 wrote:
陈若祥 wrote:
＂五月的石榴花掌起红灯笼 ＂以乐景写哀情，不错！
清代王夫之在《姜斋诗话》中说：“以乐景写哀，以哀景写乐，一倍增其哀乐。”

问好若祥,石榴花到底好不好，我自己都糊涂了 Very Happy


好！！！
要相信自己所选的意象啊，半溪明月！
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2007-05-13 13:43:32    Post subject: Reply with quote
喜欢这题目。写的也很好。
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-15 12:23:27    Post subject: Reply with quote
陈若祥 wrote:
半溪明月 wrote:
陈若祥 wrote:
＂五月的石榴花掌起红灯笼 ＂以乐景写哀情，不错！
清代王夫之在《姜斋诗话》中说：“以乐景写哀，以哀景写乐，一倍增其哀乐。”

问好若祥,石榴花到底好不好，我自己都糊涂了 Very Happy


好！！！
要相信自己所选的意象啊，半溪明月！

谢谢 若祥老师的鼓励~问好! Very Happy
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-15 12:38:30    Post subject: Reply with quote
nobody wrote:
喜欢这题目。写的也很好。

问好NOBODY,谢鼓励~ Very Happy
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阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
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Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-15 15:43:01    Post subject: Reply with quote
不动声色的,冷冷的眼!
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踏过废墟,走来
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