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陶罐
沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-07 06:59:25    Post subject: 陶罐 Reply with quote

陶罐
 
无端想起陶罐
粗糙、灰暗,长在某个山旮旯的那一种
想起陶罐里
那些香喷喷流油的咸鸭蛋
 
为什么眼前有一双皱缩的手
让我深陷在一道道皱纹里
 
只为我脸上稚气的笑容
奶奶把她不打折扣的爱
浓缩到一只陶罐里
而自己总是就着一口咸菜
吞咽枯藤上的日子
 
那时候不会想像
那些被细细地和进陶罐里的红土
应该是甜的
更想不到,现在回想起来
为什么鼻子发酸
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-07 07:40:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

为什么眼前有一双皱缩的手
让我深陷在一道道皱纹里....喜欢这2句.
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-07 09:03:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

那时候不会想像
那些被细细地和进陶罐里的红土
应该是甜的
更想不到,现在回想起来
为什么鼻子发酸

非常好
这些原始的感觉和冲动
虽然粗糙些
能更直接地进入读者
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-07 13:41:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

真有这样的生活经历。很感人。
写得是粗了点,稍显匆忙。不过不错。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-08 19:48:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

一双皱缩的手
让我深陷在一道道皱纹里

质朴, 真情
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-10 21:06:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢朋友们!再修改一下Smile
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-11 00:28:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

为什么眼前有一双皱缩的手
让我深陷在一道道皱纹里
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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