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五言:蒹葭
锷未残
童生


Joined: 07 Sep 2014
Posts: 72

锷未残Collection
PostPosted: 2015-07-24 17:46:48    Post subject: 五言:蒹葭 Reply with quote

蒹葭

荒原不毛地,但有蒹葭生。
破土指苍天,身死吼西风。
一生无别求,只与天地荣。
常将引朋类,冷眼看花红.

中国山东
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我为诗歌狂
童生


Joined: 27 Jun 2015
Posts: 42
Location: Canada
我为诗歌狂Collection
PostPosted: 2015-08-05 14:46:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

蒹葭与花红并无矛盾,似乎没有必要“冷眼”吧?“闲闲” 或者干脆“笑眼”行不行呢?除非花红指代什么?
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锷未残
童生


Joined: 07 Sep 2014
Posts: 72

锷未残Collection
PostPosted: 2015-08-05 17:33:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

也是。但花经不起暴风雨啊。
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