Maple Review :: View topic - 填词菊花新两首兼翻唱烟花三月

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

填词菊花新两首兼翻唱烟花三月

我为诗歌狂
童生

Joined: 27 Jun 2015
Posts: 42
Location: Canada
我为诗歌狂Collection

Posted: 2015-07-05 17:43:44 Post subject: 填词菊花新两首兼翻唱烟花三月

闺蜜儿捡得少见五瓣丁香甚喜，拿与我瞧，遂填词两首玩玩。没讲究平仄，敬请各位大牛包涵指教呵呵。菊花新 · 五瓣丁香一画工不忍泼浓艳，春阁香雪淡淡烟。不争梨花白，罗兰紫，钟铃无言。倒悬四片双双现。五瓣稀，有缘一面？馥郁幽幽里，虔心见，玉成所愿二春来丁香开别院，树自荫荫花自炫。风过斜枝舞，盈满头，香飘玉溅。花绽五瓣世难见。是天意？惹人艳羡。合十轻轻祝，心事成，得偿所愿。翻唱“烟花三月” http://www.tlkg.com.cn/ugcp/info.kg?enid=8c59f48cb972b66ba1ce5ff38cda6558#sthash.CKZUbdxJ.dpuf

婉芳
童生

Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Posts: 13

婉芳Collection

Posted: 2015-07-06 03:23:25 Post subject:

见到五瓣丁香是幸运的，你为闺蜜写的词优美，活泼，还表达了闺蜜内心的虔诚。烟花三月歌声婉转，柔情无限，好像是跟恋人徜徉在江南的山光水色之中。

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2015-07-06 07:23:27 Post subject:

意境很好。关于词牌平仄格律的检验，请参看： http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=40568 及： http://www.52shici.com/gl.php

我为诗歌狂
童生

Joined: 27 Jun 2015
Posts: 42
Location: Canada
我为诗歌狂Collection

Posted: 2015-07-06 08:00:12 Post subject:

谢探花指点，马上看。。。。。。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2015-07-12 21:34:09 Post subject:

词意不错，值得一读。

晓松
举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection

Posted: 2015-09-28 17:31:18 Post subject:

欢迎新朋友！中秋佳节快乐！

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