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我希望你是一朵花
xctianbin
秀才


Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 105

xctianbinCollection
PostPosted: 2007-05-03 16:55:59    Post subject: 我希望你是一朵花 Reply with quote

我希望你是一朵花


田 斌



这是一种说开就开说谢就谢的花

它盛开的过程

你无从知也无从晓



当我从睡梦中醒来 走到窗台

你突然敞露的容颜

亮了我的目光 惊了我的心



这是一种稍纵即逝的花

来不及挽留

也无从忆起



这种花来得掩人耳目

去得也悄无声息



我是一个缺爱的人

多希望在疲惫而孤寂的旅途中

你是陪伴我的那朵花









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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-03 18:15:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

我是一个缺爱的人

多希望在疲惫而孤寂的旅途中

你是陪伴我的那朵花


问好田斌老师~
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-04 00:20:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

这是一朵什么样的花呢?让诗人如此追忆?喜欢这样的表达!诗的语言上再凝练一些,跨度上再拉开一些会更好!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-04 00:31:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

有自己的风格.
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每个诗人都很重要
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