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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

海上闲笔三：巽风

许蔚
童生

Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection

Posted: 2007-04-28 20:04:22 Post subject: 海上闲笔三：巽风

海上闲笔三：巽风许蔚巽风不时来漫卷千里故道无处寂寞无处惹尘埃 07.4.26 14:02时客海上白云观

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-04-28 20:19:39 Post subject:

凝炼 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 05:14:22 Post subject:

先生的诗很难懂的。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

阿依琼裙
秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 05:18:54 Post subject:

欣赏的风格! _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

金金
进士出身

Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection

Posted: 2007-04-29 20:46:11 Post subject:

是啊，风不来，你还想什么：）！` _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/shirenjinjin

许蔚
童生

Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection

Posted: 2007-05-01 06:43:01 Post subject:

呵呵，风总是要来的，就看是什么风了另，曾经有人说我的文字太个人，所以不容易明白，不过我觉得诗这种东西就应该个人，一个人的东西读得多了，自然就会了解他想什么，写什么，呵呵不过这两年比较懒，写得东西不多，大家见到的就少了，以后不时地翻些旧作出来给大家看看吧

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2007-05-02 10:05:04 Post subject:

此诗在巽，“无处寂寞“改“寂寞无处“何如？ _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

许蔚
童生

Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 68

许蔚Collection

Posted: 2007-05-03 03:20:49 Post subject:

是，倒是可以，不过下句如何改

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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