冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2014-03-13 04:54:01 Post subject: 春夜【五律】 |
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风吹绿柳堤,月照翠竹篱。
草醒依溪少,花开饶陌稀。
林空归牧响,野静宿莺啼。
远望鸦飞落,低思燕舞期。 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2014-03-13 05:36:30 Post subject: |
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颈联好,从“蝉噪林逾静,鸟鸣山更幽”句化用而来。
颔联似可再作对应上的推敲。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2014-03-13 18:50:54 Post subject: |
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问候黄老! |
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连南河 秀才
Joined: 30 Aug 2008 Posts: 342 Location: Toronto 连南河Collection |
Posted: 2014-04-05 07:10:34 Post subject: |
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《春夜》里“远望鸦飞落”或许更妥。 _________________ 一路雨丝一路风 |
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冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2014-04-06 04:27:28 Post subject: |
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谢谢南河老师斧正! |
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