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莲花绽放的日子
柳蓬
童生


Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Posts: 43

柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-01-16 20:31:14    Post subject: 莲花绽放的日子 Reply with quote

黎明的霞光里
凝露的莲花含羞绽放
带着昨夜月色的温馨
沐浴在清新透明的晨风

黄昏的余晖里
舒展的莲花徐吐清香
载着今日太阳的热恋
漫游向缠绵曼妙的梦境……
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柳蓬
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2014-01-27 14:48:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习!!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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柳蓬
童生


Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Posts: 43

柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-01-28 21:32:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

多提意见!
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宝塔山人
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Joined: 15 Mar 2013
Posts: 211
Location: 中国
宝塔山人Collection
PostPosted: 2014-01-29 22:09:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

题目匠心,意境优美,个别词欠妥!
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柳蓬
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Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Posts: 43

柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-01-30 16:40:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

请山人具体赐教!
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柳蓬
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火骏
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Joined: 02 Mar 2013
Posts: 8

火骏Collection
PostPosted: 2014-01-30 16:44:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

挺清新的
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柳蓬
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柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-02-02 16:02:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢火骏赏评!新年好!
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柳蓬
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Posts: 43

柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-02-02 16:02:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢火骏赏评!新年好!
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宝塔山人
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PostPosted: 2014-02-02 22:51:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

对不起,我用“欠妥”一词本身欠妥,请谅解!见仁见智,我的见解也许是错误的,仅为交流探讨,直抒己见而已。“霞光”“余晖”二词的寓意,是否可讲给我听听?
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一无
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Joined: 20 Mar 2013
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PostPosted: 2014-02-03 10:20:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏。
诗友们真诚直率,真希望2014大开新风。
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名心退尽道心生,如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足,好诗不过近人情。

———清 张问陶



http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397
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柳蓬
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Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Posts: 43

柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-02-07 18:23:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

“山人”客气了!“霞光”和“余晖”仅是清晨和傍晚的景象而已,没特殊的寓意。
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柳蓬
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PostPosted: 2014-02-07 18:24:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢“一无”赏阅!
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柳蓬
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宝塔山人
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PostPosted: 2014-02-07 21:01:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

l我感觉莲花、霞光、余晖,都应该是有寓意的,否则……
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宝塔山人
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PostPosted: 2014-02-07 21:01:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

l我感觉莲花、霞光、余晖,都应该是有寓意的,否则……
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宝塔山人
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Joined: 15 Mar 2013
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PostPosted: 2014-02-07 21:03:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

l我感觉莲花、霞光、余晖,都应该是有寓意的,否则……
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柳蓬
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Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Posts: 43

柳蓬Collection
PostPosted: 2014-02-08 19:25:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

是首情诗呢,寓意自我感悟 Very Happy
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宝塔山人
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PostPosted: 2014-02-09 18:46:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗外有诗,方是好诗;词外有词,方是好词。古人意有所寓,发之于诗词,非徒吟赏风月以自蔽惑也。
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柳蓬
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Joined: 16 Jan 2014
Posts: 43

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PostPosted: 2014-02-11 18:38:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

领教“山人”了
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