| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-15 16:05:44    Post subject: 卜算子-咏兰(画配词) |   |  
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				| 文/梁溪散人 
 獨放一支花,室雅聞幽語。逸致娴情表素心,環宇留香處。
 
 清濁不同流,甘受時貧苦。修练仙緣滿此身,正是光明路!
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		| Daxia 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 26 Apr 2013
 Posts: 163
 Location: Mississauga, Canada
 DaxiaCollection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-16 03:03:26    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 欣赏。 _________________
 Daxia
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		| 黄洋界 探花
 
  
 Joined: 23 Mar 2007
 Posts: 3301
 Location: 多伦多,加拿大
 黄洋界Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-16 05:57:05    Post subject: |   |  
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				| ”清浊不同流,甘受时贫苦“。抒写幽兰雅趣,欣赏! 诗中的“鬥”是形容大东西的小,念dou的第三声,故应用“斗”。
 _________________
 ++++++++++++++
 喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-20 18:00:37    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢黄老指出斗字的不同处。受教了。 |  | 
	
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-20 18:03:23    Post subject: |   |  
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 谢谢Daxia朋友赏读鼓励!
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-20 20:38:34    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 风骨凛然 |  | 
	
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		| 宁家珍 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 20 May 2009
 Posts: 470
 Location: 中国黄山
 宁家珍Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-25 19:11:04    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 獨放一支花,斗室聞幽語。逸致娴情表素心,環宇留香處。 
 清濁不同流,甘受時貧苦。修得仙緣滿此身,正是光明路!
 
 欣赏佳作。问好。
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-30 15:37:49    Post subject: |   |  
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 谢谢庆宏兄赏读点评鼓励!
 
 元旦快乐!
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-30 15:38:34    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 宁家珍 wrote: |  
	  | 獨放一支花,斗室聞幽語。逸致娴情表素心,環宇留香處。 ...
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 谢谢诗友赏读鼓励!节日愉快!
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-30 15:39:13    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 黄洋界 wrote: |  
	  | ”清浊不同流,甘受时贫苦“。抒写幽兰雅趣,欣赏! ...
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 问候黄老!节日快乐!
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		| 连南河 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 30 Aug 2008
 Posts: 342
 Location: Toronto
 连南河Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-12-30 23:24:37    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 環宇留香處 正是光明路
 
 问候祝福!新年快乐!
 _________________
 一路雨丝一路风
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		| 晓松 举人
 
  
 Joined: 26 Feb 2007
 Posts: 1192
 
 晓松Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-01-08 08:31:48    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 獨放一支花,斗室聞幽語。好意境。笑聊兄新年快乐1 |  | 
	
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		| 宁家珍 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 20 May 2009
 Posts: 470
 Location: 中国黄山
 宁家珍Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-01-08 09:50:37    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 欣赏雅诗。 |  | 
	
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		| 小山云子 童生
 
 
 Joined: 18 Jan 2014
 Posts: 7
 
 小山云子Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-02-02 11:07:08    Post subject: |   |  
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				| “獨放一支花,斗室聞幽語。” “清濁不同流,甘受時貧苦”
 写情境好,喜欢。
 此句“放”字用得准且妙。建议把“斗室”之“室”字还升点调,成“室雅”。“清濁”之“濁”字升调为“者”。“修得”的“得”升调改为“炼”,不知是否会影响原作的音效。
 即:獨放一支花,室雅幽語。逸致娴情表素心,環宇留香處。
 
 清者不同流,甘受時貧苦。修炼仙緣滿此身,正是光明路!
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-02-02 19:52:13    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 连南河 wrote: |  
	  | 環宇留香處 正是光明路
 
 问候祝福!新年快乐!
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 连兄新年快乐!
 
 谢谢提读鼓励!迟复致歉。
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-02-02 19:53:50    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 晓松 wrote: |  
	  | 獨放一支花,斗室聞幽語。好意境。笑聊兄新年快乐1 |  
 晓松兄新年好!
 
 谢谢点评鼓励!
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-02-02 19:54:42    Post subject: |   |  
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 家珍诗友新年好!
 
 谢谢鼓励!
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2014-02-02 19:58:27    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 小山云子 wrote: |  
	  | “獨放一支花,斗室聞幽語。” ...
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 朋友新年好!
 
 您提出几处,可以采纳二处,一斗室改;室雅;二,修得改修炼。
 
 其余保留原样。
 
 谢谢交流!
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