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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

卜算子-咏兰（画配词）

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-12-15 16:05:44 Post subject: 卜算子-咏兰（画配词）

文/梁溪散人獨放一支花，室雅聞幽語。逸致娴情表素心，環宇留香處。清濁不同流，甘受時貧苦。修练仙緣滿此身，正是光明路！

Daxia
秀才

Joined: 26 Apr 2013
Posts: 163
Location: Mississauga, Canada
DaxiaCollection

Posted: 2013-12-16 03:03:26 Post subject:

欣赏。 _________________ Daxia

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2013-12-16 05:57:05 Post subject:

”清浊不同流，甘受时贫苦“。抒写幽兰雅趣，欣赏! 诗中的“鬥”是形容大东西的小，念dou的第三声，故应用“斗”。 _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2013-12-20 18:00:37 Post subject:

谢谢黄老指出斗字的不同处。受教了。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-12-20 18:03:23 Post subject:

Daxia wrote:

欣赏。

谢谢Daxia朋友赏读鼓励!

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-12-20 20:38:34 Post subject:

风骨凛然

宁家珍
秀才

Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 470
Location: 中国黄山
宁家珍Collection

Posted: 2013-12-25 19:11:04 Post subject:

獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。逸致娴情表素心，環宇留香處。清濁不同流，甘受時貧苦。修得仙緣滿此身，正是光明路！欣赏佳作。问好。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2013-12-30 15:37:49 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

风骨凛然

谢谢庆宏兄赏读点评鼓励！

元旦快乐！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-12-30 15:38:34 Post subject:

宁家珍 wrote:

獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。逸致娴情表素心，環宇留香處。
...

谢谢诗友赏读鼓励！节日愉快！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-12-30 15:39:13 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

”清浊不同流，甘受时贫苦“。抒写幽兰雅趣，欣赏!
...

问候黄老！节日快乐！

连南河
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Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Posts: 342
Location: Toronto
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Posted: 2013-12-30 23:24:37 Post subject:

環宇留香處正是光明路问候祝福！新年快乐！ _________________ 一路雨丝一路风

晓松
举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection

Posted: 2014-01-08 08:31:48 Post subject:

獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。好意境。笑聊兄新年快乐1

宁家珍
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Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 470
Location: 中国黄山
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Posted: 2014-01-08 09:50:37 Post subject:

欣赏雅诗。

小山云子
童生

Joined: 18 Jan 2014
Posts: 7

小山云子Collection

Posted: 2014-02-02 11:07:08 Post subject:

“獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。” “清濁不同流，甘受時貧苦” 写情境好，喜欢。此句“放”字用得准且妙。建议把“斗室”之“室”字还升点调，成“室雅”。“清濁”之“濁”字升调为“者”。“修得”的“得”升调改为“炼”，不知是否会影响原作的音效。即：獨放一支花，室雅幽語。逸致娴情表素心，環宇留香處。清者不同流，甘受時貧苦。修炼仙緣滿此身，正是光明路！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2014-02-02 19:52:13 Post subject:

连南河 wrote:

環宇留香處
正是光明路

问候祝福！新年快乐！

连兄新年快乐！

谢谢提读鼓励！迟复致歉。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2014-02-02 19:53:50 Post subject:

晓松 wrote:

獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。好意境。笑聊兄新年快乐1

晓松兄新年好！

谢谢点评鼓励！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2014-02-02 19:54:42 Post subject:

宁家珍 wrote:

欣赏雅诗。

家珍诗友新年好！

谢谢鼓励！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2014-02-02 19:58:27 Post subject:

小山云子 wrote:

“獨放一支花，斗室聞幽語。”
...

朋友新年好！

您提出几处，可以采纳二处，一斗室改；室雅；二，修得改修炼。

其余保留原样。

谢谢交流！

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