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(原创）鹧鸪天-自嘲

笑聊
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Joined: 05 Jan 2010
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Posted: 2012-08-31 16:30:41 Post subject: (原创）鹧鸪天-自嘲

文/笑聊大作兄酬笔下知，唱歌泼墨我才痴。文章喜好难依舍，佛像慈祥巧为思。朝看日，晚吟词。淡闲已当出家时。炎凉世事谁能管？闻道心胸宽放之。注：闻道。语出《论语》“朝闻道，夕死可矣。” 注：和，唱和之和仄声，改“酬”。

黄洋界
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Posted: 2012-09-03 04:44:26 Post subject:

炎凉世事谁管，闻道心胸宽放。笑聊兄心态颇佳也！问好！ _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2012-09-05 22:53:31 Post subject:

大作兄和笔下知，唱歌泼墨我才痴。文章喜好难依舍，佛像慈祥巧为思。朝看日，晚吟词。淡闲已当出家时。炎凉世事谁能管？闻道心胸宽放之。注：闻道。语出《论语》“朝闻道，夕死可矣。” “闻道”—— 词眼也。襟怀可见，甚妙！

笑聊
探花

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Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2012-09-10 19:49:17 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

炎凉世事谁管，闻道心胸宽放。
笑聊兄心态颇佳也！问好！

谢谢黄老师赏读鼓励！问好。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2012-09-10 19:50:17 Post subject:

冰清 wrote:

大作兄和笔下知，唱歌泼墨我才痴。
...

谢谢冰清老师赏评鼓励！问好。

qinghongh
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Posted: 2012-09-11 06:42:16 Post subject:

炎凉世事谁能管？闻道心胸宽放之。好!

笑聊
探花

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Posted: 2012-09-11 20:53:09 Post subject:

谢谢庆宏兄提读赏评！问好！

莹雪
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Posted: 2012-09-17 17:26:00 Post subject:

很有深意。

笑聊
探花

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Posted: 2012-09-18 19:01:16 Post subject:

莹雪 wrote:

很有深意。

谢谢莹雪mm赏读点评！问好！

莹雪
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Posted: 2012-09-19 17:23:58 Post subject:

笑聊 wrote:

莹雪 wrote:

很有深意。

谢谢莹雪mm赏读点评！问好！

问好！笑卿兄

冷雨
秀才

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Posted: 2012-10-16 12:33:43 Post subject:

问好！

笑聊
探花

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Posted: 2012-10-22 21:08:20 Post subject:

冷雨 wrote:

问好！

问好冷兄！

李盈枝
状元

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Posted: 2013-07-03 14:07:56 Post subject:

大作兄和笔下知——“和”在此为仄声大作兄酬笔下知

笑聊
探花

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Posted: 2013-07-03 14:14:48 Post subject:

好的，这说明我的诗词功底需要加强。谢谢老师！这里刚刚和了一首诗，您老看看可否有用？临屏依韵和黄老：蔷薇朵朵池边斗，惊艳芬芳四溢来。望去如颜佳粉立，凝眸细看是花开。

李盈枝
状元

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Posted: 2013-07-03 15:26:07 Post subject:

临屏依韵和黄老：蔷薇朵朵池边斗，惊艳芬芳四溢来。望去如颜佳粉立，凝眸细看是花开。七绝-临屏依韵和黄老：蔷薇朵朵池边绽，惊艳芬芳四溢来。疑是如颜红粉立，凝眸细看乃花开。红粉佳人——用字力求自然现成。

李盈枝
状元

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Posted: 2013-07-03 15:28:40 Post subject:

李盈枝 wrote:

临屏依韵和黄老：

蔷薇朵朵池边斗，惊艳芬芳四溢来。
望去如颜佳粉立，凝眸细看是花开。

七绝-临屏依韵和黄老：

蔷薇朵朵池边绽，惊艳芬芳四溢来。
疑是如颜红粉立，凝眸细看乃花开。

红粉佳人——用字力求自然现成。

备而不用，因为此刻帖子居上，暂时不必提帖。

李盈枝
状元

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Posts: 5987
Location: 中国山东
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Posted: 2013-07-03 15:34:06 Post subject:

七绝-临屏依韵和黄老：蔷薇朵朵池边绽，惊艳芬芳四溢来。疑是谁家红粉立，凝眸细看乃花开。诗未必合理，合理未必合情，也就减少了趣味。要于无理中产生情趣。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
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Posted: 2013-07-03 18:08:19 Post subject:

李盈枝 wrote:

七绝-临屏依韵和黄老：

蔷薇朵朵池边绽，惊艳芬芳四溢来。
疑是谁家红粉立，凝眸细看乃花开。

诗未必合理，合理未必合情，也就减少了趣味。要于无理中产生情趣。

老师就是老师，稍微动动手术，面貌大变，意境叠增。诚挚的说声谢谢！

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