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在春天和秦聪相遇
杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-24 22:47:39    Post subject: 在春天和秦聪相遇 Reply with quote

在春天和秦聪相遇

在春天
我和秦聪相遇
他是我一生都不想见到的人
但还是握手拥抱 放声大笑

互相问候
问了问对方妻子的近况
假装关心的样子
在学校
我的妻子曾经爱上了他
为了报复
我用了两年的功夫
让他的妻子偷偷爱上了我
一直到现在

从神态看得出
他还在为学校里的事得意
但——
我更得意

在春天
我和秦聪相遇
他是我一生都不想见到的人
在我们背过身的时候
我的笑容掉在了地上
发出酒杯一样碎的响声
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-04-24 22:49:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

在春天
我和秦聪相遇
他是我一生都不想见到的人
在我们背过身的时候
我的笑容掉在了地上
发出酒杯一样碎的响声


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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-24 23:26:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗里少见这样的情绪,不错。
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-25 22:05:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢和平岛和博弈先生!!问好!远握!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-25 23:05:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

碎,用的有味道!
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踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-26 04:39:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

用刀子解剖血淋淋的内心,把疼揭给人看,最后一段很精彩~
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-04-26 15:03:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

再评海军:好诗三不:一不重复别人;二不重复自己;三不被他人重复。海军的对个人独特经历的叙述正是避免三“不”的最佳方式。值得我们学习!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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