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車的故事
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-26 09:31:59    Post subject: 車的故事 Reply with quote

車的故事

車子
自長長的隧道掙扎出來

眼前一片光亮

幾乎睜不開眼

擁擠中

吵雜的樹與花


高速公路上

大家都奮力向前衝

經過一個小學

車子,還很新鮮

在一個中學停車場

車子被刮了幾道痕跡

後來載了幾個便車族

開過大學


社會五花八門

什麼招牌都有

車子,在一個油站加油後

便嫁給了那支油槍


二十五萬里之後

車子,常常進保養廠

有時要在那裏待上幾個晚上才能出來


這一次出來

車子,慢慢地駛回家

不意走上一條市郊道路

斜陽下平舖的大片草地

一塊塊工整的石碑停泊著

石碑前有著各色的玫瑰花束
與野花點點
還有幾個人遠遠靜靜地佇立
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山城子
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Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-26 11:47:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

人在车里,车在一个社会里穿行。
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-27 07:44:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

問好.

如果把’車子’換成’我’字,多用逗號段開,強調車子為一個主體.

把車子當作代名詞,代替一個隱喻.
也就是講人的一生,自出生到老年,有感墓碑在前.

最近常常要開車走過一條捷徑,一旁是墓園,一旁是碑石工作坊;有感.

我把石塊換成石碑,清楚些.
原來的石塊較合車子的觀點,石碑是人的觀點.
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风动
秀才


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-27 21:26:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

可比性强。巧思。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-28 01:32:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

大自然的规律,于人于物
不同的是车没有思维,寿终正寝后还可以拆了零件作他用,而多数人死了也想留个全尸(虽然最后逃不了粉身碎骨),呵呵呵,开溜 Razz
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风墙
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Joined: 11 Feb 2013
Posts: 126
Location: 中国安徽
风墙Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-28 11:32:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

我们尽管只有两条腿,却如四个轮子的车,高速行驶!
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墙漏风了
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2013-04-29 12:54:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

車子, 昨天出門走了420英里;
今天又走了420英里,回家.

在高速公路上
路不是敵人
車子也不是
它們可算是大自然
唯一與所有的
麻煩, 都來自其他開車的人
包括公路警察
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