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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

雅安殇

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2013-04-23 01:56:22 Post subject: 雅安殇

雅安殇 **司马策风雅安和汶川你们不愧是几个苦瓜兄弟你们都不幸被川西断层挑上了同一根扁担如同我们儿时爱玩的跷跷板一上一下就怕失去了平衡大哥几个刚跌破了头接着就是你这小弟摔下来雅安你这苦瓜兄弟我们哪忍心看着你们藤断了相互哭着找寻另一半瓜破了汁液迸溅四处流淌呼救我好想说别怕兄弟好在我们血脉相连根系发达我们要用五千年的皇天后土为你们包扎同胞们一定会用长江黄河来输血喂养你们我好想说你们就会重新发芽站起来也很快你们就会牵藤开花再结瓜但是此刻雅安你让我们哑黯雅安你也让我这个老乡哑口无言 2013.4,22 温哥华 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2013-04-23 02:32:48 Post subject:

同胞们一定会用长江黄河来输血喂养你们这句可以有深意 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2013-04-23 07:51:07 Post subject:

多谢岛主点评雄起！ _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

吟啸徐行
举人

Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection

Posted: 2013-04-23 11:34:57 Post subject:

拳拳之情，令人感动！ _________________ 彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.

枫桥夜泊
童生

Joined: 18 Mar 2013
Posts: 45

枫桥夜泊Collection

Posted: 2013-04-23 13:19:00 Post subject:

入题较为巧妙。借用诗语，寄嘱雅安—— “我好想说你们就会重新发芽站起来也很快你们就会牵藤开花再结瓜 ” _________________ 诗歌可以使人理性，时时不忘作人良知。

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2013-04-24 10:45:37 Post subject:

吟啸徐行 wrote:

拳拳之情，令人感动！

多谢光临捧场。司马问好
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2013-04-24 10:46:57 Post subject:

枫桥夜泊 wrote:

入题较为巧妙。
...

多谢兄台到访，感谢兄台点评仔细入微，颇有见地！

司马问好
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

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山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2013-04-24 14:01:08 Post subject:

我们要用五千年的皇天厚土为你们包扎 ——皇天后土。同胞们一定会用长江黄河来输血喂养你们 _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2013-04-25 03:45:37 Post subject:

山城子 wrote:

我们要用五千年的皇天厚土为你们包扎 ——皇天后土。
...

多谢山城子老师仔细发现别字。

最早，我也是用的“后”子，后来又朋友指出应该是“厚”，

自己也以为是别字，就跟随了朋友。现在看来，还是自己没吃

准。

多谢了！
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William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2013-04-25 08:36:16 Post subject:

这个题材都在写，要写好真不容易。司马兄找到了好的角度和意象，意蕴也好。学习！ _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2013-04-26 02:13:41 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

这个题材都在写，要写好真不容易。司马兄找到了好的角度和意象，意蕴也好。学习！

多谢周兄夸奖了。

这也不过是偶尔灵感一动所致。还是多靠运气帮忙！
_________________
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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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