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眉批:好像說的還挺真實!
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-20 01:10:00    Post subject: 眉批:好像說的還挺真實! Reply with quote

房事

以前生米煮成熟飯,女的就是你的人了,现在你就算把生米煮成爆米花都不管用了!



其實我們國家不是一夫一妻制,而是一房一妻制。

無房就無妻,多房就多妻。哥從前一直不明白,為啥老婆叫大房、二房、三房……如今我真的懂了,古人誠不欺我也!

這年頭,愁的都是房事!男人愁私房,女人愁乳房,老人愁心房,大學生愁開房,打工的愁租房,住院的愁病房,分娩的愁產房,结婚的愁新房,小市民愁分房,老百姓愁住房,製片人愁票房,富人愁二房,壞人愁牢房。

【首都的士司机是奇才】

首都机场出来打了的,上车后司机正开着收音机听体育新闻。
播到足球消息,的士司机说:“如果找十几个20岁左右的死刑犯,让他们练四年足球,然后让他们踢世界杯,出线了就出狱,出不了拉回来枪毙。中国足球一 准儿出线。”

我惊异于他的想法,问道:“那么解决现在离婚越来越厉害的现象呢?”
司机掐断烟头狠心的说道:“真正能阻止离婚的婚姻法是,离婚后房子归国家。” 我开始佩服他了。

于是又问:“现在清明节快到了,你说说情人节和清明节的区别是?”
司机想了想,说道:“情人节和清明节是一样的,都是送花,送吃的。区别在于情人节烧真钱,说一堆鬼话给人听;清明节烧假钱,说一堆人话给鬼听。”

我被彻底震服了,首都的士司机真奇才啊!
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一无
秀才


Joined: 20 Mar 2013
Posts: 576
Location: 中国
一无Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-21 09:51:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

佩服司机,他们认路。
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名心退尽道心生,如梦如仙句偶成。天籁自鸣天趣足,好诗不过近人情。

———清 张问陶



http://www.yizitong.org/weblog.php?w=397
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2013-07-16 02:53:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

37,《不給祖國添亂》

CCAV又出採訪了,問道“作為一個國人你能為祖國做些什麼?”
—路人答:“移民,不給祖國添亂。”
記者又問:“你認為愛國主義的表現是什麼?”
答:“移民,給資本主義添亂。”
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2013-07-16 03:01:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

8.【冰淇淋哲學】

賣冰淇淋必須從冬天開始,因為冬天顧客少,逼迫你降低成本改善服務。如果能在冬天中生存,就再也不會害怕夏天的競爭;同樣只有吃過苦才知道享受生活美好。想在順境中事業能蒸蒸日上,就必須在逆境中經過一番錘煉,這就是台灣著名企業家王永慶提出的“冰淇淋哲學”。
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2013-07-16 03:22:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

「吃豆腐」。

史載,「豆腐之法,始於淮南劉安」。當年劉邦之孫淮南王劉安為求長生不老之藥,在安徽壽縣八公山以黃豆、鹽滷等物煉丹,無意中竟煉出了「白如純玉,細若凝脂」的豆腐。西漢初年豆腐問世後,很快成為老百姓非常喜歡的小吃。當時流行的吃法是碗裡擱一大塊豆腐,撒上佐料,拿小刀邊劃成小塊邊吃。於是坊間出現了無數這樣的豆腐快餐店。當時長安街上有對夫妻合開的豆腐小店,老闆娘本來就漂亮,又以有美容功能的豆腐為常食,自然更是細皮嫩肉,人稱「豆腐西施」。為招徠顧客,「豆腐西施」難免有賣弄風情之舉,引得周圍男人老以「吃豆腐」為名,到豆腐店與老闆娘調情,且動手動腳,比如趁付銅板時摸摸老闆娘的纖手等。於是,醋海翻波的老婆們不滿意了,經常以「你今天又去吃豆腐了?」來訓斥丈夫。
後來,「吃豆腐」便成了男人輕薄女人的代名詞。
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