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巷道里的风筝
谭剑飞
童生


Joined: 15 Mar 2013
Posts: 81
Location: 中国广东
谭剑飞Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-08 19:10:02    Post subject: 巷道里的风筝 Reply with quote

春天里,
参差错落的居民房里,
来了北风。
天空中的绵绵阴雨,
地上的湿漉漉,
一夜间消失。
居民们一改往日的吊儿郎当,
冬日里的衣服被翻了出来,
戒备般全副武装。
门窗紧闭。
像是北方的禽流感来了,
也能拒之门外。
居民房的巷道里,
一个孤独的男孩,
迎着北风,
放着一只孤独的风筝。
狭小空间里,
风筝乱窜着,
一会儿天空里七上八下,
像是飞机遇到了风暴;
一会儿地上翻滚,
像是一头许久了遛放的狗。
男孩似乎不明白,
这样的境遇下,
风筝就是如此的命运。
脑海里装着画中的,
风筝翱翔于蓝天的美好画图。
多少次的尝试,
多少次的失败。
终于,
我不忍心再看下去,
转身离去。
呵,
那一个稚嫩,茫然,
无知的坚强的表情,
俨然就是一只巷道的北风里的纸风筝。
一个古老的国度,
年轻的梦。

2013.04.06
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-08 19:38:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

像是一头许久了遛放的狗。——次序好像不对。

像是一头遛放了许久的狗。
_________________
诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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姚阳辉
秀才


Joined: 04 Apr 2013
Posts: 139
Location: 中国陕西
姚阳辉Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-08 20:55:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

多少次的尝试,
多少次的失败。
终于,
我不忍心再看下去,
转身离去。
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谭剑飞
童生


Joined: 15 Mar 2013
Posts: 81
Location: 中国广东
谭剑飞Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-08 22:09:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

姚阳辉 wrote:
多少次的尝试,
...
Smile
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谭剑飞
童生


Joined: 15 Mar 2013
Posts: 81
Location: 中国广东
谭剑飞Collection
PostPosted: 2013-04-08 22:13:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

山城子 wrote:
像是一头许久了遛放的狗。——次序好像不对。
...
此言非也。句中“许久”,意为相隔时间很久的意思。这是一头离上次溜达相隔了很久时间的狗,或者说,以前没有遛过,现在出来。。。所以这头“狗”,表现的很兴奋!。。。
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