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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

七绝朝鲜半岛

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-04 05:27:21 Post subject: 七绝朝鲜半岛

七绝朝鲜半岛国家大事当儿戏，烽火高台耍列侯。勒紧腰身添武备，战端一启万民愁。

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2013-04-04 07:03:53 Post subject:

只顾炫武，不顾民愁。批之甚切。 _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-04 07:39:43 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

只顾炫武，不顾民愁。批之甚切。

谢谢黄老师评阅.

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2013-04-05 01:21:26 Post subject:

犀利！赏学。

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-05 02:19:47 Post subject:

冰清 wrote:

犀利！赏学。

谢谢冰清老师！

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2013-04-07 19:47:47 Post subject:

一语中的！问好！

白云闲人
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2013-04-07 23:40:13 Post subject:

诗筆敏銳！ _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-08 06:40:50 Post subject:

笑聊 wrote:

一语中的！问好！

谢谢笑聊兄赏读.

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-08 06:41:15 Post subject:

白云闲人 wrote:

诗筆敏銳！

谢谢白云老师赏读.

秋叶
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Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

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Posted: 2013-04-08 12:31:14 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

七绝朝鲜半岛
...

庆宏兄说得好，这小子遗传了其老子的劣根性，不管人民死活 Sad

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-09 05:33:53 Post subject:

秋叶 wrote:

qinghongh wrote:

七绝朝鲜半岛
...

庆宏兄说得好，这小子遗传了其老子的劣根性，不管人民死活 Sad

谢谢秋叶兄赏读。

游畅
童生

Joined: 06 Mar 2013
Posts: 8
Location: 浙江杭州
游畅Collection

Posted: 2013-04-21 08:58:57 Post subject:

战端一启万民愁。的是，学习佳作！ _________________ 一自桃花长别后，此心化雨总潇潇！

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-21 09:58:13 Post subject:

游畅 wrote:

战端一启万民愁。的是，学习佳作！

谢谢诗友来访。

ousyougi2013
童生

Joined: 21 Apr 2013
Posts: 5

ousyougi2013Collection

Posted: 2013-04-21 12:41:46 Post subject:

我有不同见解。国家大事当儿戏，烽火高台耍列侯。这两句表达的是一个意思，有重复的毛病。七律讲究工整对仗，字字珠玑，这两句我认为不妥。勒紧腰身添武备，战端一启万民愁。这后两句，并不对偶，而且意思也是重复，没有什么新的见解。谁都知道积攒好了火药是要点燃的，这么普通的道理摆在这里，实为累赘。

笑聊
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Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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Posted: 2013-04-21 18:23:25 Post subject:

ousyougi2013 wrote:

我有不同见解。国家大事当儿戏，烽火高台耍列侯。这两句表达的是一个意思，有重复的毛病。七律讲究工整对仗，字字珠玑，这两句我认为不妥。勒紧腰身添武备，战端一启万民愁。这后两句，并不对偶，而且意思也是重复，没有什么新的见解。谁都知道积攒好了火药是要点燃的，这么普通的道理摆在这里，实为累赘。

绝句与律诗有所不同，望朋友学一学《汉语诗律学》，或其他相关文章。

qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2013-04-22 05:42:10 Post subject:

谢谢笑聊兄。

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