冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-31 15:10:49 Post subject: 柳堤【六绝•新韵】 |
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碧柳丝垂野溪,枝莺婉啭鸣啼。
群童喜戏堤岸,奏响声声乐笛。 |
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桃园郎 童生

Joined: 06 Mar 2013 Posts: 53 Location: 中国四川省大英县 桃园郎Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-31 22:40:46 Post subject: |
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声画明了 _________________ 诗词艺苑欢迎你!
百度“诗词艺苑”即可找到网址。 |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2013-03-31 23:39:39 Post subject: |
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垂柳、莺啼、童戏、笛声,娓娓动人! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2013-04-01 02:43:52 Post subject: |
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来读雨,问好 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2013-04-01 05:20:42 Post subject: |
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春意盎然 |
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黄洋界 探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2013-04-01 06:32:59 Post subject: |
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用词凝练而不失形象,欣赏!
“喜”字恐为“嬉”之误。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2013-04-01 11:29:07 Post subject: |
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问好各位诗友!谢谢点评! |
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冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2013-04-01 12:30:26 Post subject: |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2013-04-16 00:32:17 Post subject: |
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生动传神,节奏也明快! |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2013-04-16 20:30:04 Post subject: |
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笛,入声,按平水韵属仄声,如按中华新韵则属平声。则需注明(新韵)
柳字重复了,看能否替换一下。 |
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冷雨 秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010 Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
Posted: 2013-05-25 11:57:05 Post subject: |
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问好冰清老师!问好笑聊兄长! |
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