冷雨
秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
 Posted: 2013-03-31 15:10:49 Post subject: 柳堤【六绝•新韵】 |
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碧柳丝垂野溪，枝莺婉啭鸣啼。
群童喜戏堤岸，奏响声声乐笛。 |
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桃园郎
童生
Joined: 06 Mar 2013
Posts: 53
Location: 中国四川省大英县
桃园郎Collection |
| Posted: 2013-03-31 22:40:46 Post subject: |
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声画明了
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诗词艺苑欢迎你！
百度“诗词艺苑”即可找到网址。 |
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白云闲人
探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
| Posted: 2013-03-31 23:39:39 Post subject: |
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垂柳、莺啼、童戏、笛声，娓娓动人！
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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白水
大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection |
| Posted: 2013-04-01 02:43:52 Post subject: |
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| 来读雨，问好 |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2013-04-01 05:20:42 Post subject: |
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| 春意盎然 |
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黄洋界
探花
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection |
| Posted: 2013-04-01 06:32:59 Post subject: |
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用词凝练而不失形象，欣赏！
“喜”字恐为“嬉”之误。
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++++++++++++++
喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰 |
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冷雨
秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
| Posted: 2013-04-01 11:29:07 Post subject: |
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| 问好各位诗友！谢谢点评！ |
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冷雨
秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
| Posted: 2013-04-01 12:30:26 Post subject: |
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冰清
同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
| Posted: 2013-04-16 00:32:17 Post subject: |
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| 生动传神，节奏也明快！ |
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笑聊
探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection |
| Posted: 2013-04-16 20:30:04 Post subject: |
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笛，入声，按平水韵属仄声，如按中华新韵则属平声。则需注明（新韵）
柳字重复了，看能否替换一下。 |
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冷雨
秀才
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 439
冷雨Collection |
| Posted: 2013-05-25 11:57:05 Post subject: |
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| 问好冰清老师！问好笑聊兄长！ |
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